Huge News!! & A Contest of All Contests

I have huge news!!! And no…the wife is not pregnant. It’s not possible anymore…but that’s a whole other blog post.

In honor of the upcoming Father’s Day on Monday, June 14^th, an amazingly awesome three-minute animation short created by animator JC Little (@littleanimation on Twitter) will be launched on this blog and on Little Animation's YouTube channel.

The best description of the animated short is the one crafted by the amazing JC Little of Little Animation:

“At the mercy of his ninja son, his aspiring-princess daughter and his apparently disinterested wife, Daddy seems to be on the verge of tears. But what actually makes him cry may surprise you. A heart-warming and humorous look at fatherhood, inspired by the blog www.WhyIsDaddyCrying.com."

Or, as she told me, “it’s my response to the question ‘why is daddy crying?’”

So now it’s your turn…

Contest Time!

With the help of the following kick-ass amazing Twitter friends and parent bloggers who will be our judges:

@NuckingFutsMomma

@IEatMyKidzSnack

@TessasDad

We are asking you the age old question, “Why Is Daddy Crying?!?”

Comment on this blog post with your best answer. Lay it out there. Don’t be shy. Hit us with your best shot.

What’s in it for you?

A hand-crafted, hand-picked, amazingly phenomenal care package created by JC Little of Little Animation and myself. And, I promise not to send any of my dirty underwear.

What’s in the “phenomenal” care package?

• Little Animation’s children’s animation 2 DVD’s “Kid Stories International” & “Little Earth Charter” found at www.littleanimation.com/shop
• Gift certificate to Toys R Us
• A “Planet Earth” baby onsie – super comfort, 100% cotton jersey knit from Little Animation’s www.cafepress.com/littleanimation shop.  
• Picture of me when I was 20 wearing no shirt and holding three Amber Jack I caught on a deep-sea fishing trip.
• An opportunity to exclusively babysit my kids every weekend for an entire year
• Dick’s Sporting Goods gift certificate
• Dot & Lil ( @DotandLil on Twitter) limited edition Spring & Summer 2010 bath set seen here:

Come on. Comment…answer the question…Deadline is end of day Tuesday, June 15! The winner will be announced Thursday, June 17!

Only rule is...Please try to keep the submissions as clean as possible!! Many thanks and so finally - let me have it - Why Is Daddy Crying???!!!!



Returning the Favor

Yeah, I just got back from a dude weekend. It’s true.

I hopped a flight to North Carolina leaving my sweet, innocent wife alone for three days with a five and seven-year-old, while I hung out with two old-school college buddies at a lake-front log cabin.

We drank beer and good wine without a care in the world, while the wife frantically sucked back leftovers from the kids’ plates, forgot where she put her wine glass, and was woken up throughout the night by the kids during thunderstorms.

I won’t lie…there was guilt. I’d call and hear the exasperation in her voice.

She’d say: “That’s awesome you guys did so well at the 10k trail race.”

What I’d hear is: “Run it again only this time fall off a cliff you dead-beat dad!”

She’d say: “That sounds like you had a really cool day!”

What I’d hear is: “I’m putting eye drops in all your drinks for the rest of the week when you get back, punk-ass!”

I’ll definitely spend the next few weeks trying to make it up to her in little ways. Girls’ night out, a night alone without kids or me, or a night of letting her watch me try on various Speedo bathing suits.

I think back to how far we’ve come as men. Back in the day the men-folk would spend their weekends golfing, playing poker, and shooting the shit in their garages with other neighborhood dudes. The wives would shuttle the kids to the pool or their parent’s house to make sure the husband was relaxed on his two days off from work.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been to parties these days where the stay-at-home moms declare to the men “kids are yours, we’ll be in the house relaxing,” and then disappear never to be seen again.

For so many reasons I’m OK with that. I think most guys are OK with that. Because today it’s understood that whether a woman is a stay-at-home mom, or successful executive – they’re working and deserve down-time too.

Let’s look at stay-at-home parents in comparison to those working and you’ll see my point!

Stay at Home Parents                                                        Work

Mind-numbing requests from uneducated,

immature humans daily                                                                     X

Continuously fighting to have peace while you eat                X

Endlessly plotting against the person that got you

into this position                                                                                  X

Faking optimum productivity & interest when

others are watching                                                                             X

Constantly motivated to slam your head against a wall         X

I think you see what I mean.

So yeah, I’m grateful my wife threw herself on the tracks for three days so I could dude-it-up. I’m thankful more than she knows. And that’s why I’ll have no problem at all making damn sure I return the favor.

And, it’s in everyone’s best interest that I do it quickly.

This Ain't No Griswold's Vacation

I ‘m over at my other gig today… the kick-ass website Dad Revolution where I blog along side a great group of dads every few weeks.

Today I’m writing about how after starting a new job I’m unable to do a family vacation – Griswold-style - because I haven't earned enough vacation hours yet. Instead, we’re pulling together bits and pieces of weekends to create a memorable summer of mini-vacations we hope the kids will always remember.

So check out my latest post on Dad Revolution: This Ain't No Griswold's Vacation.

Volkswagen Made My Daughter Mike Tyson

“Blue One”

“Red One”

That’s the kind of crap I’ve been hearing bellowing from my daughter’s mouth just seconds before she unleashes her tiny, knuckle-clad fist towards my old-man arms, legs, calf, back, or whatever is closest to her fury.

And it always happens when I’m in the middle of something and absolutely oblivious to what’s about to go down.

So the first time it happened I was cooking in the kitchen. Next thing I know I hear, “red one!” and WHAM!!! I feel something akin to a shot in the side of my upper hamstring.

“Ooooh…Macy…what are you doing?!!” I yell.

“Blue one!” she yelled as she slammed her right fist into my hip.

That’s when I realized she was reenacting the Volkswagen commercials! In my kitchen!!

Our kitchen only has two windows, neither of which over-look any street that might carry anything that could possibly even resemble a motor-vehicle. She was totally ripping off marketing genius to kick the ever living hell out of me.

My first reaction? Scream, “green one” and drop her to her knees.

But then, I remembered she’s my daughter…not my brother.

How could I get mad at her? She was victim to a catchy commercial that promotes pounding on someone because you saw a car drive by.

That’s like getting mad a Corona for its commercials showing the wife spraying lime juice in her husband’s eyes for watching a group of sexy ladies in bikinis walk by as he vacations.

I could never get mad at such a delicious frosty beverage. (Pppppssssttt…Corona….step over here…email me at whyisdaddycrying(at)gmail(dot)com to advertise yo!!).

Maybe I should be upset at myself for letting her watch a volume of TV that would result in her memorizing certain commercials. Or for forgetting to put my clothes in the drier last night so that could wear that sexy Hawaiian shirt with the hula girl on the front that I just know everyone loves to see me in.

Regardless…my precious angel was just doing what kids do – act as a sponge, soaking up every bit of information surrounding her, most of which without even realizing it.

Understanding that I kindly patted her on her head, bent down to her eye-level and said, “Macy…I love you baby. I understand you saw that on TV and are just repeating it. But it’s not OK to hit, OK baby?”

“OK daddy.”

Proud of myself I stood back up and watched her walk away. I’d knocked another killer parenting moment right out of the…

“Brown one!” and the feeling of a mini hammer coming down on my left quadricep almost dropped me to my knees as I noticed my son standing beside me.

Family Discussion: A Furry Little Shit

I came home yesterday to all hell breaking loose at the house.

Son: “But mommy I really really want one!”

Wife: “I know you do Grayson. We will probably get you one, so relax.”

Daughter: “Well if Grayson gets an animal I want a cat and I’ll keep it in my room and it’ll be all mine.”

Wife: “You can’t keep a cat in your little room all the time Macy.”

Daughter: “But MOOOMMMYYYY, Grayson gets to keep a hamster in his room, why can’t I keep a cat in mine?”

That’s when it all clicked in my head what was happening.

Me: “Whoa whoa whoa!! No one’s getting any animals. We have a cat and that’s plenty!!”

And then the water works started, followed by high pitched whining flavored with hardcore disappointment.

My son’s best buddy at school has a hamster. So naturally my son HAS to have one. And somehow, when I was away from the house for more than five minutes yesterday, my wife’s ability to slam any thoughts that another furry beast might enter this home permanently became weak. Our kids were breaking her quickly.

Me: “Grayson, what is it you want to get?”

Son: “Oh…daddy, it’s a teddy bear hamster. It’s really furry and really cute and it has long fuzzy hair all over it and I want it so badly daddy. I will take such good care of it and will name it Ted.”

Daughter: “And if Grayson gets a hamster mommy said I could buy two new Zhu Zhu pets!”

This is the point where I look at the wife with a “what in the holy hell are you thinking woman” look on my face.

Wife: “Don’t look at me like that. I pretty much promised Grayson he could have one.”

Me: “But we already have cat shit to clean up. We have a fish in the boy’s room that refuses to die. And now we’re gonna have a small animal that needs it’s wood shred thingies changed, food, water and the boy’s gonna let it get lose at least once and the cat will try to eat it and I’m already freakin’ exhausted….”

Wife: “Pipe-down childhood ruiner and quit over exaggerating. I had two as a kid and loved it. Let the boy have this.”

Me: “Whatever… I’m gonna need you to sign this document nullifying any and all involvement I might have in handling, touching, cleaning, observing, chasing, smelling, acknowledging, petting, and  any other word ending in “ing” that might involve Bob crossing paths with my daily life.”

Wife: “His name’s Ted idiot-boy. Get it right.”