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Why is Daddy Crying?
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Thursday
Apr262012

Mentoring To Earn The Man-Card

Over the weekend I found myself at one of three soccer games planned for that lovely day. As the daughter runs her little butt up and down the field, I talk manly-man stuff to another dad plopped next to me.

Running, dreading our daughters moving into the inevitable realm of dating, vacation plans….those were just some of the many topics rambling from our mouths as we killed yet another Saturday on the sidelines.

My son wanders over, throwing a soccer ball in the air and catching it over and over again, trying desperately to find a way to work into our manversation. Finally, a very brief lull in the conversation takes over and that’s when the boy says:

“So, I’ve been hit in my balls four times in my life. Twice by a soccer ball, once by a baseball and once by my sister who did it on purpose! How many times have you guys been hit in your balls?”

I can’t say I was shocked because I’m used to his random-ass comments, but I was definitely not expecting that. So I reached down, flicked him in the head and said “dude, seriously? You really want to have a conversation about balls?”

And that’s when it hit me. That actually would be a pretty damn good conversation for three dudes to have while killing time. I mean, what guy doesn’t have a great story about getting hit in the balls? TV shows make millions by showing random nut shots. 37.8% of YouTube’s total content comprises of testicles getting dealt with in surprising fashion.

I didn’t realize it then, but I did later….my son is slowly developing the requirements to earn a man-card.

Then a shudder went down my spine as I realized what a huge responsibility it is to guide a young chap through developing those requirements.

I mean, he’s well on his way and Saturday was a perfect example. 1) he struck up a random conversation with two dudes by trying to tell funny stories about their balls, 2) he took a soccer ball to the face, bent over, sucked it up without running with tears for his mommy, 3) after finding out I was making spaghetti that night he asked, “you’re gonna put a bunch of meat in it right?”

But on the flip side, that same day, he 1) did a cartwheel, 2) played with a hula hoop for a while, and 3) watched a 30-minute My Little Pony cartoon with his sister.

It’s all about balance. The key is to teach the boy to do manly shit with dudes, and un-manly man-card revoking stuff when dudes aren’t around but ladies are. That’s still considered manly because then it just means you’re trying to get laid.

It’s when you reverse those two that you start to get into some real shit. For example:

Telling another dude his shirt looks nice. NO

Asking another dude if his mommy dressed him this morning. YES

 

Starting a conversation with another dude by placing your hand on his shoulder and saying, “hey guy, how’s it goin’?” NO

Starting a conversation with another dude by nodding and saying “what’s up shit-brick?” YES

 

Sitting at a bar with a bunch of dudes, watching the game and ordering a Malibu with Diet Coke. NO

Sitting at a bar with a bunch of dudes, watching the game and ordering a Newcastle and shot of Jack Daniels. YES

 

Wearing coordinated outfits with your wife at parties while holding her hand all night. NO

Walking by your wife in the living room and stopping to tell her she smells good. YES

It’s tricky business earning your man-card. It’s even more difficult to keep it. I’ve got a long road ahead of me.

Thursday
Jun102010

Huge News!! & A Contest of All Contests

I have huge news!!! And no…the wife is not pregnant. It’s not possible anymore…but that’s a whole other blog post.

In honor of the upcoming Father’s Day on Monday, June 14th, an amazingly awesome three-minute animation short created by animator JC Little (@littleanimation on Twitter) will be launched on this blog and on Little Animation's YouTube channel.

The best description of the animated short is the one crafted by the amazing JC Little of Little Animation:

“At the mercy of his ninja son, his aspiring-princess daughter and his apparently disinterested wife, Daddy seems to be on the verge of tears. But what actually makes him cry may surprise you. A heart-warming and humorous look at fatherhood, inspired by the blog www.WhyIsDaddyCrying.com."

Or, as she told me, “it’s my response to the question ‘why is daddy crying?’”

So now it’s your turn…

Contest Time!

With the help of the following kick-ass amazing Twitter friends and parent bloggers who will be our judges:

@NuckingFutsMomma

@IEatMyKidzSnack

@TessasDad

We are asking you the age old question, “Why Is Daddy Crying?!?”

Comment on this blog post with your best answer. Lay it out there. Don’t be shy. Hit us with your best shot.

What’s in it for you?

A hand-crafted, hand-picked, amazingly phenomenal care package created by JC Little of Little Animation and myself. And, I promise not to send any of my dirty underwear.

What’s in the “phenomenal” care package?

  • Little Animation’s children’s animation 2 DVD’s “Kid Stories International” & “Little Earth Charter” found at www.littleanimation.com/shop
  • Gift certificate to Toys R Us
  • A “Planet Earth” baby onsie – super comfort, 100% cotton jersey knit from Little Animation’s www.cafepress.com/littleanimation shop.  
  • Picture of me when I was 20 wearing no shirt and holding three Amber Jack I caught on a deep-sea fishing trip.
  • An opportunity to exclusively babysit my kids every weekend for an entire year
  • Dick’s Sporting Goods gift certificate
  • Dot & Lil ( @DotandLil on Twitter) limited edition Spring & Summer 2010 bath set seen here:

Come on. Comment…answer the question…Deadline is end of day Tuesday, June 15! The winner will be announced Thursday, June 17!

Only rule is...Please try to keep the submissions as clean as possible!! Many thanks and so finally - let me have it - Why Is Daddy Crying???!!!!