The Wife & I Discuss Pointy Bras
Friday, November 20, 2009 at 6:32AM Wifey: “So, did you know pointy bras are coming back in style.”
Me: “Does that mean you’re gonna finally buy some new bras?”
Wifey: “You’re an asshole…just because my bras don’t have flowers and aren’t lacy and my panties don't have ‘sexy’ across the ass doesn’t mean they’re not hot.”
Me: “I never said your skin-toned skibbies weren’t hot. I was just asking because you starting talking about pointy booby holders.”
Wifey: “Seriously honey…do you have a problem with my undergarments?”
Me: “Isn’t an ‘undergarment’ like a slip or something a Sunday school teacher wears? It makes me think of my grandmother walking around the house before bed in like 18 layers of silky nastiness filled with hooks and wires and shit. I’d much prefer you to say ‘panties.’”
Wifey: “Why can’t we ever have a normal conversation anymore? Can’t you save your Mr. Funny-Man routine for the internet?”
Me: “You mean the interweb machine thingy?”
Wifey “SEE?!!!!”
Me: “All right…sorry…damn. So who in the hell would wear those pointy bra things, anyway?”
Wifey: “I don’t know…I wouldn’t.”
Me: “What about tassels? Would you wear them if they had tassels hanging off them? And you could shake your chest and make them twirl and go in opposite directions….that would be money if you did that.”
Wifey: “You really need to lay off the porn.”
Me: “I haven’t watched porn in hours.”
Wifey: “You know the kids can find that stuff on the computer, because you have it so easy to find.”
Me: *loud throat clear “interweb machine thingy” *loud throat clear
Wifey: “Did you go to school to learn how to be such a difficult person to talk to?”
Me: “No, I took bowling because asshole was full. So seriously, I haven’t even seen one pointy boob walking around in the city. I don’t think they’ve made a come-back quite yet.”
Wifey: “I’m just sayin’, I read an article that said they’re coming back.”
Me: “Since when do you read the newspaper?”
Wife: “I read the paper…you’re not around me all day, you have no idea what I read and don’t read.”
Me: “You saw it on Oprah didn’t you?”
Wifey: “I hate you.”
Me: “I seriously don’t think you like me anymore.”
Wifey: “Oh for the love of God here we go again.”
Me: “No…I’m serious. I wake up most mornings sore as hell, and I know it’s because you’re giving me badly practiced acupuncture at night. The other day, Grayson called me a meanie and I swear I saw you high-five him. And today…just today when I opened my lunch bag, there was a note in with my sandwich that said ‘die fucker’ and I’ve had a stomach ache ever since.”
Wifey: “I DID NOT high five Grayson. I would never teach him that name calling was OK.”
Me: “If I bought you a pointy bra would you wear it?”
Wifey: “Keep kicking back those beers and you might need a pointy bra, drunk-o.”
Me: “That would be awesome! It would be like a boob-flask for dudes. I could fill one with beer and the other with Jager with straws coming out of both. I wonder if that’s been patented?”
Wifey: “Idiot….”
Me: “We really should talk more often. This was nice.”
Wifey: “Sssshhh…CSI’s coming on.”
CSI, husband, panties, pointy bras, porn, talk, undergarments, wife
Reader Comments (17)
This sounds about like the conversation hubby and I had the other night when he came home to me wearing a velour sweat suit. I know, I know, one step up from a Snuggie, but in my defense it was cold. I kept trying to get it on with him but for some reason he was totally turned off by my warm cozy velour?!? I think I may go out and buy 6 more ;) And there is no way I will be wearing a pointy bra!
I worked at a bra store after college, and I had several old ladies get pissed off because they couldn't find pointy bras like in the "old days." They hate the new ones that make us rounded and smooth. Personally, I prefer to not go around poking people's eyes out.
Thanks for the awesome fashion advice. I was thinking there was something missing from my wardrobe and now I know what it is!! Velour jog suits!! ... oh, ummm, yeah the pointy bra thing was hilarious, too.
This might be your best post ever. Love it x50.
I don't think we all need to be running around poking eyes out like Madonna, that is just wrong. My hubby would probably enjoy some boobie tassels though. He actually enjoys the nursing bras though lol cuz they have an easy open flap. He thinks it is the funniest thing in the world to walk by me and unclip it. Too bad in another 4 months those bad boys are off limits to him (bastard).
I like that she didn't address whether or not she poisoned you, just went straight on to the name calling!
You will never catch me in a pointy one. I prefer to not were one that rounds em out, so why would a pointy one be any better? lol
Love it too funny
Sounds JUST like a conversation that I'd have with my hubby.... not sure if that's funny or perhaps sad!
And, just for the record, after I'd dismissed this absurd conversation, I would have sshhhhed him cause Law & Order was coming on, and I know how much he hates when I watch Law & Order. It would have been the perfect way to nudge him into his Man Cave!
The Hubby Diaries
:-)
Sounds like you two were made for each other!!! You shoudl have gotten her a pointy undergarment for her birthday! bet you could have found one of the inter wed exchange WTF ever you called it
I love this line, "I haven’t watched porn in hours.”
I loved all that vintage lingerie. Far cuter than what they have today. (Says the woman in her big white cotton underpants and tan cotton bra with three hooks).
too funny! but seriously if the pointy bras are coming back somebody just shoot me now oput me out my misery:)
some of us could NEVER do the pointy bra thing...
even if it was kewl.
LOL
Heather - you might as well wear a pointy bra if you're wearing a velour shirt!!! He should have forgiven you though if you were trying to get it on with him. In fact...he should be put in time-out for having said no....
Amanda - so you walk around slamming your boobs in people's eyes? Can I send you my address?
cjaxon - I have a feeling you already own velour everything...including a velour pointy bra
crazysahm - i'm pretty sure I love you x50
MamaBennie - so you sit around without a shirt on? Can you talk my wifey into doing that please?
Megan - haha - yeah, she never really did answer the two most important questions...scary. I'm confident she's trying to kill me. Maybe I should video-tape our sleep to try and catch her....
Karen - thanks lady!!! You rock!
TheHubbyDiaries - did you just put a link to your blog in your comment? That's kinda ballsy isn't it? I mean, you should really think about.....hey.....don't turn your back on me like that....wait...oh no you didn't just turn Law & Order on....
Jessica - it's the interweb machine thingy!!!!!!
Lotta - oh the visual...I guess it's only fair I tell you I'm wearing a pair of the wifey's skin-toned panties right now...
andrea - now now....let's not go around shooting ourselves...you can always do like I do and go braless...
allconsoffun - I seriously believe you don't even wear a shirt most of the time...
Pointy bras? I can't but think of the exaggerated bra Madonna wore! I hope my wife didn't hear the same thing. If I want points, I would turn on the air conditioning when my wife comes out of the shower!
I spent $85 on sexy lacy understuff the other day with the intention of wearing for the guy I'm now breaking up with.
Figures.
“I haven’t watched porn in hours.”
Ha ha ha hahahahahah.
I need you to ask Wifey if she means the Madonna/Jean Paul Gaultier cone bra look. Inquiring minds and all.
I agree with Megan's comment: My favorite part is when Wifey doesn't address the poisoning allegation, but gets offended by the high-five/name-calling.
Happy bloggiversary.!