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A Good Day

So, I had a cheesy moment with my little dude….and I loved it!!!

It’s been snowing like a bitch for the past few days. And since I’m a jobless statistic, I’ve actually enjoyed the snow because I’m not commuting in it.

I wake the kids up saying, “look out the window.”

I shovel it. I slip on it and bust my damn back wide open. I feel manly about it because I can control whether I allow it to rest on my sidewalks or not. And I’m humbled by Mother Nature’s ability to manhandle me despite my repetitive verbal abuse.

Then it hits me….I should totally build one kick-ass snow fort that will be a three month project with the kids.

It’ll melt some. Turn to ice some. Take some bad-ass snowball fighting hits some. But we’ll keep rebuilding, patching, working on it and making sure come spring, it’s still standing during the big-thaw!

And so I did it. And it’s something I should have BEEN doing. But I haven’t.

And, I’m not beating myself up for it. I’m chalking it up to another amazing experience in my time as a stay-at-home jobless-statistic dad.

Then it hits me…I should have been building one kick-ass fort of confidence around myself over the past month. And I should have had a three-month maintenance plan around it. And I haven’t.

I melted some. Took some vicious snowball hits. I cried. I looked in the mirror and walked away in disgust. And at the end of the day, all I'd really done is waste time.

And I wasn’t rebuilding, patching, or working on shit. NOTHING. No-thing.  

Thanks ex-boss, for giving me another amazing moment with my kids I otherwise would have missed.

Thanks ex-boss for making me realize another strength I hold within myself that’s now unleashed.

Thanks ex-boss for stopping my life at what I’ll hold as the most current critical moment in my self-awareness.

Thanks ex-boss…..but don’t get cocky you bastard

I had an amazing phone call yesterday with a job I have a 99% chance of getting. It’s the best Christmas gift I could have gotten. I felt like I’d dropped 300 lbs. I got a piece of ME back. And, there’s still one more very strong potential job out there that I won’t hear about until January.

Nothing’s in stone and it could all crumble. But for now I feel lucky. Fuck that…I feel overwhelmingly fortunate. Only time will tell how it all plays out.

But yesterday was a good day.

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Reader Comments (14)

I have faith in you. God does not give us what we cannot handle. I think he might be allowing you magical times with the kids. You are building more than forts in yard or around your heart. You are building memories with the wee ones. They will always remember this magical time and the year Daddy built them the fort. They see your strength and you are teaching them to be better, stronger people. Congrats on the possibilities. Nothing is better than a ray of hope. Hold on. Cheers, Lisa

December 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisaB (LadyWanderlust)

Awesome snow fort! We used to built them like that when I was little too...trash cans make the best molds. Congrats on the potential job, and I hope everything works out. In the mean time though, you are making memories that your kids will never forget, so live it up with the little nippers.

December 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMamaBennie

Word. I mentioned this when you first posted about your job loss, but being able to spend such amazing time with your family is quite the gift, even if the wrapping seemed shitty at the time. Glad you've found your upside, and whoa - that's a lot of snow, which says something, coming from a Canuck.

December 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkgirl

So glad you finally had your AH-HA moment!! You have everything to be self confident about, not least of all because those kids will remember this as the best Christmas EVER because Daddy was home spending time with them. Grayson and Macy will tell their kids about that snowfort and how awesome Grandaddy was before they slipped the Depends on him and shoved him in the old folks home.
Crossing my fingers for the job prospects!

December 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercjaxon

Dude, you rock! This is an uplifting piece of work.
Everyone that had been displaced by this effed up economy needs to do what you are doing! Keeping your head up and taking no compromises!

December 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteridrvfast

That is so great! I think the best posts come out of when people take a step back, look at all they have & really live in the moment. I'm sure it was a day your kids will always remember. What a good memory for them to have too, daddy helping them make a snow fort on their Christmas vacation! Good luck with the job, it would be a great Christmas gift! :)

December 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJazmynLeigh

Awesome post & awesome analogy! You will look back with a great big old smile on your face when remember these days w/your kids. Time is something you can never get back. I'm soooooo happy to hear about the job prospects! I know that something amazing is going to happen for you in 2010!

Oh, and btw, you are one kick-ass snow architect! :-)

December 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternuckingfutsmama


December 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSteve Brown

You are a stand out. Rock on J-Dog.

December 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermyturtledove

Another inspiring post. I'm not sure how you switch from self-depreciating goofball to introspective philosopher, but you always manage to do it so seamlessly. What a gift for your kids to have such an active, hands-on dad who has taken a stressful personal situation and turned it into an opportunity of a lifetime. As another posted; you will never get this time with them again. Jobs will come and go, but the memories you're creating will truly last forever. Regardless of how you feel about yourself at this moment, you are a superhero in their eyes. Now go put on those tights and your cape (and be sure to take pictures!)

December 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterT Bryant

that is one kick ass fort, and best o' luck with the prospects.

December 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterUnIdleDad

Cool snow fort! We haven't built one but that's because our neighbor kids are little fucks and would probably destroy it. Thanks for the new outlook on being a stay at home parent too.

Best of luck on the prospects. From what I hear of the job market right now, even having prospects is an achievement. Kick ass and take names later.

December 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

You make me smile.

December 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKim Jenkins

Excellent writer, father and husband that you are. Great post!

December 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLotta

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