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Entries in trip (2)


What Us Dudes Do When Left Alone

So the wife and kids have been in North Carolina since Saturday and they’re going to be there for the next three weeks visiting family, going to the beach, hitting parties, and just living the good life.

Me? I’m left behind with the damn cat, the stupid dog, and my jobby job.

Us dudes crave alone time…as do the ladies I’m sure. I’ve been dreaming about this family vacation that I’m not a part of for months now.

But when it finally comes to fruition, well, it’s not all it’s cracked-up to be.

I mean getting all the time you want in the bathroom AND being able to keep the door open? Pretty damn sweet.

Getting pictures sent from the wife of the kids having an amazing time at the beach. Sucks.

Having the ice cream man drive down your street without getting barraged by children screaming “daddy I want ice cream please please please please please!!!?!!!” is like Christmas early.

Climbing into an empty bed…sucks.

Taking a picture of yourself at midnight brushing your teeth? A whole batch of dumb instigated by boredom.

Walking by the kids’ rooms and seeing their empty beds day after day after day? Sucks.

Doing a cartwheel in the hallway naked just to see if you’re physically capable of doing it and hitting your head on the wall? Awesome!

Not having sex for three weeks? Hold on…I’m tearing-up again…I’ll be right back.

Sliding into your room naked in front of a mirror and only wearing socks while singing at the top of your lungs? Scary but awesome.

Cleaning the entire kitchen and living room and not being able to brag about how you “helped around the house?” Sucks

Yelling at the half gallon of milk in the fridge because it’s taking up too much beer storage space? Things are going downhill at this point but still awesome.

Getting amazing news that you’ve gotten a new job and can’t celebrate because you’re family’s gone for three weeks? Sucks

So as you can see it’s a win/lose situation. But in the end I’m so happy the family gets to experience those great summer vacations.

I just hope with this new job, next summer I’ll be with them.



My Wife Was Right, But I'll Never Tell

I like to wake up with a game-plan for the day.

I like to know that around 10:30 a.m. I should be hurling the kids into the car, yelling at the wife to hurry the hell up, and giving the neighbor the evil eye because he has no kids.

This is completely opposite from the wife who enjoys sleeping until the kids are on the brink of burning the joint down. Then, she’ll suddenly wake-up and spontaneously want to climb a mountain, start a 12-acre farm, make “something awesome out of bamboo,” and feed a small country.

If you ask her “how are we going to do that honey?”

The first response will always be, “See!!!! That’s what I’m talking about! You never want to do shit unless you planned it two months ago!!!”

So, I decided not to fight it this past Saturday.

We woke up, the wife immediately said, “We shall go to the hoity toity Farmer’s Market, get judged, and buy some kick-ass donuts!”

I said, “Yes dear.” And we went.

Near the end of our judged and be-judged fest, we came across a half-pint of blueberries for $5. Knowing the kids love blueberries I said, “hey sweet precious wife of mine. Shall we purchase said berries for our amazing offspring?”

Her eyes lit-up, the skies parted, angles sang “whaaaaaaaaa” as the wife proclaimed, “We shall go blueberry picking right now!!!”

I said, “Yes dear.” And we went.

A quick Android search and five minutes later and we were joyfully headed to Michigan City, Indiana…just over an hour away.

Eighteen kid fights later we arrive at the blueberry farm and start picking like champs.

Half-way through our molestation of rows of blueberry bushes I realized, “holy shit I’m actually having fun. And…and I didn’t plan any of this.”  But how was I going to keep it from the wife that she’s right – sometimes just doing shit on a whim really can be fun.

Six pounds of blueberries later and we’re piling back in the mobile. Pulling out on the road to head home we pass by sign pointing to all kinds of stuff around the area, one of which said, “Beach.”

“We shall totally go a beach along Lake Michigan!,” my darling wife proclaimed.

I said, “Yes dear.” And we went.

An Android search later and we were headed to find Mount Baldy in Indiana!

A climb to the top of a huge dune, a few tumbles down it, and a mass amounts of memories caught on still photos and our day was complete.

One hour later we’re home, kids tired, in bed, and wife nodding her head with approval at the fact we had a kick-ass time without a single damn plan of how the day would go.

And I’ll give her props. If I’d planned the day, we would have left by 6 a.m., cooler packed, MapQuested the hell out of everything within a 4 hour radius and a schedule would be firmly implanted in my head.

But I’ve got to admit…not having a plan and just enjoying the day was mighty damn nice. But I’ll never tell the wife that.