What Us Dudes Do When Left Alone
Friday, July 15, 2011 at 7:48AM So the wife and kids have been in North Carolina since Saturday and they’re going to be there for the next three weeks visiting family, going to the beach, hitting parties, and just living the good life.
Me? I’m left behind with the damn cat, the stupid dog, and my jobby job.
Us dudes crave alone time…as do the ladies I’m sure. I’ve been dreaming about this family vacation that I’m not a part of for months now.
But when it finally comes to fruition, well, it’s not all it’s cracked-up to be.
I mean getting all the time you want in the bathroom AND being able to keep the door open? Pretty damn sweet.
Getting pictures sent from the wife of the kids having an amazing time at the beach. Sucks.
Having the ice cream man drive down your street without getting barraged by children screaming “daddy I want ice cream please please please please please!!!?!!!” is like Christmas early.
Climbing into an empty bed…sucks.
Taking a picture of yourself at midnight brushing your teeth? A whole batch of dumb instigated by boredom.
Walking by the kids’ rooms and seeing their empty beds day after day after day? Sucks.
Doing a cartwheel in the hallway naked just to see if you’re physically capable of doing it and hitting your head on the wall? Awesome!
Not having sex for three weeks? Hold on…I’m tearing-up again…I’ll be right back.
Sliding into your room naked in front of a mirror and only wearing socks while singing at the top of your lungs? Scary but awesome.
Cleaning the entire kitchen and living room and not being able to brag about how you “helped around the house?” Sucks
Yelling at the half gallon of milk in the fridge because it’s taking up too much beer storage space? Things are going downhill at this point but still awesome.
Getting amazing news that you’ve gotten a new job and can’t celebrate because you’re family’s gone for three weeks? Sucks
So as you can see it’s a win/lose situation. But in the end I’m so happy the family gets to experience those great summer vacations.
I just hope with this new job, next summer I’ll be with them.
