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Why is Daddy Crying?

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The Journey To A Warm Sunny Morning

Last night was just hard parenting night.

The boy was studying for his science test, which to us seemed like he was studying for his MCATs.

The daughter? She was spouting sentences beginning with “Can I have…”faster than Lindsay Lohan’s right hand in a jewelry store.

The wife? She was looking at me with a tear in one eye.


I tried to find my happy place.

And once I’m there, I just know that one day…

I’ll slide into my favorite chair on the back porch, in the sun, placed in just the right spot where I perch my feet perfectly enough to rest my head back just enough to feel the warmth of the morning sun.

The smell of coffee and the amazing sounds of South San Gabriel engulf me.

It’s the year 2022, my youngest left for college a week earlier.

The dining room is filled with family picture books, empty bottles of wine, wet floor-boards from last night’s tears, and the wife is still sleeping upstairs comfortably.

When I open my eyes I see the boy walking towards me with his bike, sporting his grey helmet saying, “come on dad!! Let’s go for a ride!”

His innocence and love to share life with good people immediately warms me.

And when I close them I see my daughter in her pretty fancy red dress running up to me, turning around and saying “zip me up daddy!”

Her raw emotion, passion and love makes me want to just hold her.

I’ll reach down, grab my cell and send them both just simple text knowing damn well they’ll see it hours later when they finally creep out of their college, stank-filled beds. They’ll probably shrug it off, maybe take a second to respond, possibly post it on a future “I wish my parents didn’t have a damn cell phone” blog site.

But the hope is that when they see my text: “I love you. Rock life and make yourself proud. We already are.” – they remember…

The tall goofy bastard who tickled them early in the morning until they peed themselves.

The stories I made-up late at night based on any three things they wanted.

The fact their mother and I were there…for everything…proudly.

And I’ll miss them.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be glad they’ve moved on and badly wishing they took the damn dog with them.

But I’ll miss them.

Everything leading up to that warm sunny morning…is the shaping of lives and the creation of memories.



With & Without Kids

For a week-and-a-half I’ve been kid-free! The wife took them to North Carolina a week ago. After seven days she left them with family and came back to spend a week with just the two of us.

Yeah, it’s been a bit weird. Not in a bad way…just in a, it’s been kind of weird way.

I’m expecting screaming at any second from one of the little bastards. Maybe a machine gun of requests for food, toys, bike ride, or to play a game. But it doesn’t come…just blissful silence.

Here’s what I’m talking about:

Life With Kids

The Boy: “Daaaaddddyyy!!! Macy just kicked me in my shin and told me I was stupid!!”

Life Without Kids

Me: “Hey honey!? Come quick and watch this!! I can rock my thingy back in forth in perfect time with the metronome!!”

Life With Kids

Me: “Yeah, so today Bob came up to me and….. hold on Grayson I’m talking to your mother. And so Bob came up to me and….Macy, I just told your brother I was talking to mommy – please hold on. So Bob said to me….Grayson!!! Listen to me son. I’m trying to talk to mommy. Now please…WAIT!! So Bob says….Oh my lord, seriously Macy? I’m trying to talk!!!!!”

Life Without Kids

Wifey: “Honey, please…I just want to do yoga in peace. Do you really have to sit on the couch drinking a beer and eating popcorn? I’m not a movie!”

Life With Kids

Wifey: “OK…it’s been an hour. I’m pretty sure they’re asleep, but let’s try and be quiet just in case. Damn we really need to get a lock on this door. We would seriously traumatize the hell out of the kids if they walked in right now.”

Life Without Kids

Driving home from work and only ten minutes away from the house I get a text message: “Meet me in the basement, and hurry.”

I do miss the little rug-rats. I miss them more than ever. But damn I’m enjoying this time with just the wifey. It’s weeks like this that make me appreciate the time I have with my kids now…and makes me smile at the impending time I’ll have with the wife when they’re all grows up.