The Boy Drops The F-Bomb
Wednesday, September 7, 2011 at 5:38AM So my son dropped his first F-bomb over the weekend.
Yes, it’s my fault. I do have a pretty filthy mouth and try so very hard to keep it clean around the kids. But, we live in a small house and sometimes I forget my place and well…a word may sometimes slip out.
I have to say though…he used it absolutely perfectly.
Here’s how it happened.
The boy’s on a travel soccer team. This past weekend he had a tournament about 45 min. away from our house. After his first game we spent a few hours wasting time before he had to play game number two. And, what’s more fun that wasting time at a Mexican restaurant with an oversized margarita?!
While enjoying my beverage I take out the trusty phone and check out the radar (I’m one of the biggest weather geeks on the planet). That’s when I see a whole big blob of shit headed our way.
Me: “Dude, looks like you’re game is gonna get cancelled. It’s about to storm pretty bad.”
The Boy: “No way daddy. It’s sunny and nice outside. We’ll play it.”
Me: “I’m looking at the radar and we’re gonna get nailed by Mother Nature. Trust me dude.”
The Boy: “Whatever daddy. We’re gonna play.”
Me: “Wanna make a bet?”
The Boy: (After thinking for a few seconds he gets a grin and says) “Yeah! Let’s bet!!”
Me: “If you play even a half-second of your game, I’ll give you a NuttyBuddy every day for 5 days.”
At this point the boy’s literally bouncing in his seat with joy because how could he lose?! The sun is out for shit-sake!
Me: “If the game gets cancelled though…everyday next week, as soon as I walk in the door from work, you have to take my shoes and socks off and rub my feet.”
At this point he immediately stops bouncing in his seat. The daughter starts dry-heaving and the wife says, “oh dear lord, don’t do that to him. He’s just a boy!!”
The boy starts looking out the window at the sky, then at me, then at the sky, then…he puts out his pinky and says, “it’s a bet. Pinky swear it!”
With the bet now underway I sat back to let the day take its course. Literally five minutes later it starts to get dark outside and the sky opens up.
Ten minutes later the wife checks her email on her phone and reports, “oh no Grayson. The game just got cancelled.”
And THAT’s when it happened. Slamming his elbows on the table and letting his head fall to his empty palms in shame he says, a little louder than a mumble, “fuck!”
Shocked at the word that just came out of his mouth, he immediately looks up at me as his face turns beat red. He then looks at his mother and immediately buries his face in his arms out of shame.
And thank baby jesus he did, because the wife and I ask quietly as we could started laughing like hell.
It's not like he used it in a harsh way by including it in a verbal bashing to someone. He used it absolutely perfectly because having to take your old man's shoes and socks off and rub his feet after a long day at work is definitely a "fuck" moment.
Reader Comments (26)
i had my son (when he was about 2.5) say 'crap' all through a very somber Episcopalian vespers service. He was across the aisle from me, sitting with the other two-sies, so I couldn't get to him to give him the church pinch. He just kept saying it over and over -- the rest of the church was deafeningly silent. I'll never get over that day -- even 14 years later. I blamed it on television, but I'm certain he got it from his father and me. Oops!
Like you, we are also dealing with some "potty mouth" issues with our 4 yr old. I wish like hell I could pin this one on my husband, but unfortunately this one's on me. <deep sigh>
My latest post:
http://mommy2cents.blogspot.com/2011/09/breaking-barrier.html
You're so lucky! Ari has dropped shit and fuck already and he's only three. Well, at least Grayson used it in the proper context.
I had the best laugh this morning, thanks to you. And your daughter dry heaving...too funny.
I think he used the word perfectly, and I would be giggling too...
HAHAH! That is absolutely adorable! My son is 3 and yelled FUCKING ASSHOLE randomly in the car the other day. While we were taking my father to my grandmothers house. Oh yah. Good times. <Face.. palm... smack>
I can sympathize...my daughter had her first "well, shit!" moment at around 3. And I do agree that the context makes it just about the most forgivable "oops" moment a kid can have!!
Last week I wrote about the Hierarchy of F-Word Alternatives...maybe you could teach him frick, frack, or mal-fluck-ulation...?
Anyway, thanks for the laughs...I just discovered this blog, and I think I have found a new favorite! :)