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Chilean Hamster Ductwork Rescue 2011

Yesterday morning I went down to the wife’s at-home office in the basement to throw some “we should totally hook-up when both kids are at school today” vibes around. That’s when I heard it.


Me: “What the hell was that?”

Wife: “I don’t know. The furnace has been doing that all morning.”

Me: “Ummm…you know that’s not normal right.”

Wife: “Maybe an animal’s stuck in there, I don’t know.”

I went back up to my at-home office, put the headphones on and kept cranking on work. The thought did cross my mind that maybe the hamster go out….again.

For those who don’t know, the wife has managed to bring into the house a hamster, a fish, a cat, and a dog. Although I blame her publicly, I know deep down that the zoo environment I live in is a direct result of me not being man-enough to just say “no!!!!”

An hour after hitting on the wife I take my headphones off for a call. The call ends and that’s when I hear it.


I stand, grab my cell phone, make the slow walk up to the boy’s room and find this:

Immediately I pic text this picture to the wife in the basement. A minute later we’re holding flash lights and listening to our damn ductwork trying to figure out exactly where the little furry bastard is.

That’s when we found him…in the basement, at the rock-bottom part of the ductwork right next to the filter where it connects to the furnace that has been running all day cause it was -5 outside.

And the wanna-be-rat-bastard was alive!! I mean…here’s the trip this furry guy made from the second story of our house.

He was up on a shelf, fell to a dresser, then to the floor.

Then he crawled his ass into this vent on the second floor of our house.

And fell his way through multiple ductwork chambers to the first floor, then to the basement here.

And there…he was stuck, surrounded by metal, receiving the blunt of air from the furnace, trying like hell to find freedom.

So…the wife and I embarked on an epic journey to save the little bastard despite the fact we’d both be “happier” with one less animal.


I thought I’d get all MacGyver on his ass and use the kids’ DS charger cord wrapped around a measuring cup to scoop his ass up.

FAIL: The measuring cup was too large to fit in the hole. (That’s what she said.)


Drop a large rope into the hole in the hopes the furry bastard would climb to his freedom.

FAIL: He just chewed on the end of it like a douche to try and find materials to make a nest for his new Chilean Hamster Deathtrap Home.

Right about here is where I was being all supportive and stuff to the wifey’s effort and got… “The Look.” Ok…I got half, “The Look”…but it still hurt.


Saving The Chilean Hamster & "The Look" from WhyIsDaddyCrying on Vimeo.



Holy shit…we still have fake Christmas garland sitting right here!! Let’s drop it in as a “Ladder of Hope” for the little bastard to climb!!!

FAIL: I have no idea what in the hell he was doing to it, but there was tons of noise and the garland may now be pregnant.


Drop a small cup filled with peanut butter and carrots into the Chilean Hamster Deathtrap until he climbs in then hoist him up.


Here, take a look!

Chilean Hamster Rescue Mission 2011 from WhyIsDaddyCrying on Vimeo.


Teddy was saved. Although from the repeated falls that little dude made, I’m not quite sure how long he has to live in this world. We’ll be keeping an eye on him.

The wife? She was just glad the entire episode happened while the kids were at school.

Me? Well…how would you feel after spending a long-shot-possible-afternoon-sex-time fishing a damn hamster-out-of-ductwork day?

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Reader Comments (26)

LMAO...I would have been calling him the same names...!!! Awesome rescue mission guys *high fives*

I'm going to be giggling about the little furry bastard all day now!!

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTina

Aww, poor thing!

Comical rescue mission though! $10,000 home video!

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPETA

I wept with joy at seeing the daring rescue. It must have been hell for the Chilean Hamster. What courage he showed in living through such an ordeal. I can only imagine the fear he must have felt. Chileans and everyone else in the world should revere this little guy and his strength.

Next time I have an animal trapped in a wall, I am calling Team Daddy McGyver.

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThatissuch

I think the real reason you rescued him is that you didn't want to smell his stank ass throughout the entire house after he died in the ductwork. lol

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEverRose

What is it with hamsters and ductwork? The same thing happened to my brother's family rodent and EverRose is right. The smell of desiccating hamster death is an awful reminder of what they didn't both to do.

So I say GREAT WORK Wifey!

What...? She did all the work, all you did was take pictures.

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Animated Woman

This. Was. Great! Thanks for the laugh this morning.

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTJ

Where was his wife AND mistress to greet him upon exiting the hole???? i! Chi! Chi! Le! Le ! Le! Viva Chile you HAMPSTER BASTARD!

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterI am Little Johnny

This was soooo funny and the video's cool. The 'half look' was very scarey!
When teddy was rescued in the cup, my little one (K'Boo - 4 yrs) looked up from Playhouse Disney and said "ahhhhhhh"

Keep em coming

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHoniebUK (HonieMummy)

Poor hamster- the dumb thing needs to learn to stay out of the ducts. We had a hamster that did the same thing, thankfully it was during the summer so he wouldnt be cooked alive in the ducts. After two days of unsuccessful rescue tempts we opened the duct and put the cat in. The cat brought him out an hour later, alive and just a little wet lol.

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMama Sky

I laughed, I cried, I cheered when the little fuzzy ball popped his head out of the peanut butter & carrot filled cup. But I mostly laughed at the fact when he popped his head out and the momma bear was so cute about her heroic rescue, that the hamster should be jumping for joy that he lives in a good ole vegetarian's home in Chi-Town instead of Venezuela or some other country where they eat little rat bastards like that for dinner! Now is the time I would cable tie the crap out of the cage, no one in or out!

P.S. Kudo's on holding the camera & the commentary. Hard work indeed *avoided that is*

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkatrinalynn191

And this? This is EXACTLY why we will never get a damn hamster!!!! You should have had the cat "search" for him -- might have been a lot easier. And nice use of the Matt & Kim song -- love it! :)

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenternuckingfutsmama

Love it. Pretty sure I know what you had for dinner last night. VEGETARIAN HAMSTER SUSHI.

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterieatmykidzsnack

PEACHY TV- WDC's 1 rescued Hamster recovered from it's two-or-three hour ordeal on Tuesday as the offers and gifts that go along with their new celebrity status started to roll in, including an invitation to Hamster Graceland.

A day after their stunning rescue from deep inside a collapsed heating duct, the hamster underwent tests and received treatment in cage, still wearing peanut butter on his whiskers to protect his identity until he adapt to sunshine and lack of 100 % high pressure heated air.

The Hamster was in surprisingly good health considering that they were stuck in a heated dry metal duct of death over 69 minutes

( sad part that's an actual article on the real Chilean minors I just changed a couple words)
This is ThePeachy1, reporting live from the twitter stream updates of TEDDY RESCUE 2011.

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThePeachy1

I am going to need you to avoid referring to this as the Chilean hamster rescue unless you actually turn that little fury turd into Chili. Also I will need video of it. Congrats on the rescue, I was there biting my nails in suspense as it happened screaming from the back of the crowd my ideas. Just like Kevin Costner with his urine purification machine trying to help with the oil spill. Me and Kevin, our voices are never heard. Great post, I love your wife even more.

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThePitsofBeingPeach

That is a damn cute hamster and your wife is one awesome chick. That's pretty impressive!

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJess@StraightTalk

well at least the damn thing is cute.

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAlexandria

Glad he's ok. I got attached to that little bastard last time we were there. Don't know what I would have done if he was hurt.

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered Commentersteve

Hooray! Successful rescue mission. How is it that hamsters are always escaping? I had one and he was always getting out. Fortunately he loved peanut butter so much that all you had to do was open the jar and he came running.

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStacey

Very funny! I cried a little reading this and confirms that I will never have a hamster.

February 9, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMJ

I can't believe you didn't mention his name change post- Hamster Gate 2011....presenting, KNOBBY the hamster.

February 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSunday

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