Chicago "Dibs"
Friday, February 11, 2011 at 8:20AM My wife refuses to let me participate in the coveted, Chicago tradition called “Dibs.”
Here’s the picture definition:
We currently have over two feet of snow on the ground here in Chicago.
And, let me tell you that’s no easy chore to dig out, especially when the plows throw another two feet right on top of your curb.
After a couple hours of digging through snow and ice to create a perfect little space for your car to fit, and for everyone to enjoy a snow-free entrance into the kid-caravan, you feel like you’ve climbed Mount Everest.
And there’s nothing worse than coming home to find some two-faced prick parked directly in your spot.
So, Chicagoans started putting lawn chairs in the street to call “dibs” on their spot
Stuffed animals
And even robbing innocent old-folks of their walkers to use to claim “dibs” on their spot.
Genius!! I know!!!
So after Snowmageddon 2011, I dug a nice snow-free home for our car and then started lugging a couple lawn chairs to the curb to use whenever one of us took the car.
My wife quickly popped her head out of the door and screamed, “what the hell are you doing with those?”
In a manly man caveman style I said, “Me protect spot. Me work hard. Me dig in snow, get sweaty. If car go vroom me put chair in spot so no one take. Me get angry if spot gone. You go make dinner….protect kids! You make self pretty for manly man husband!”
She wasn’t a huge fan of that.
In fact, I was told, “putting lawn chairs in the road doesn’t promote neighborly relations!”
I immediately reminded her that the people on this block who are actual human beings already know us and would never park in front of our house. The rest…well...the can burn!
I lost the fight
And as a result, we have access to my neatly shoveled spot 80% of the time.
The other 20% of the time I’m out late at night shoveling as much snow as I can on their car.
One day I’ll have balls enough to stand up to the wife and tell her that she can….
Hold on, I’ll finish that sentence in a second…the wife’s looking.
caveman, chicago dibs, lawnchair, parking, shoveling, snow, snowmageddon 2011
Reader Comments (9)
I must share this tactic with my sister, who is 7 months pregnant in Philadelphia. Maybe she can find an old used carseat with babydoll in it to claim her spot? Or would that be too dramatic?
HA. You should just detach your balls and put them in your spot ;)
Make your wife shovel next time.
Use your snuggie collection instead of chairs! Win/win!
As a fellow Chicagoan, who is also anti-dibs, I applaud your wife.
I just found your blog. LOVE IT! YOU ROCK! I agree with ieatmykidzsnack. I have a site you should go to. You can print out parking tickets for people. It's call www.youparklikeanasshole.com It is priceless! I hope it helps.
You are just so damned funny. Thx for brightening up my day with "dibs." I would likely go ballistic if living in Chi-town with this weather.
OK, off to check out above-mentioned site: www.youparklikeanasshole.com
I shovel the snow at my house so I'm with you on calling dibs for your spot.
I can sympathize. We have that much snow here too. But we can't park in the street, so no need for dibs. (Good thing everyone on my road has a long driveway.)
In college we didn't have much parking outside our dorm. If a spot opened up, everyone would run to move their cars. Our method of calling dibs was to make a friend or roommate stand in the spot until we got there. If you suggest that your wife stand out in the street to protect your spot, maybe she'll warm up to the lawn chair idea.