Wanna See If That Fits In My Gap?
Thursday, July 22, 2010 at 6:50AM I may have mentioned a time or two that I kinda have a gap between my two front teeth. If you haven’t heard me say that before well…I’ve got a gap between my two front teeth.
Between that, my Dumbo ears, and my oversized head I’ve given quite a number of people plenty of teasing material over the decades I’ve stomped around on this crazy planet. But it’s all good. I’ve embraced my “uniqueness” – which is what my wife calls my distorted attributes.
So, it’s in that same vein that I gathered the family last night and sent them on a quick hunt to find two things each they’d like to see me shove in-between my two front teeth.
You want to see the results don’t you? Well here it goes:
The Wife Chose:
8 business-sized envelopes
My Blackberry charger cord while still attached to my phone
The Daughter Chose:
Barbie’s hand. And the whole time I did this one Ken was in the corner laughing like a school girl. Sick bastard.
8 Silly Bandz...stupid Silly Bandz.
The Boy Chose:
Yes…that’s a nickel. The fattest of the pocket change being circulated in this great country.
A Lego ladder with SpongeBob and Patrick attached. I guess they’re ornamental?
So that’s it people. Now you’ve seen the gap in full display. I hope you’re happy cause my damn teeth hurt like hell now!
Barbie, SpongeBob, blackberry, dumbo, family, gap, idiot, silly bandz, teeth
Reader Comments (16)
Dude....
Just.....
dude....
I don't know....
I'm speechless. Except to say that the whole nickel thing is making me sweat profusely--------that is SUCH a chocking hazard.
I know a few great orthodontists who could close that right up....
dude, don't feel bad, my 2 front teeth are as crooked as a politician. It's all good. This was pretty funny though.
LOVE IT! I was going to do a similar post about what I can fit in my vagina but umm.......yeah. As a follow up you should totally see what you can fit in that massive nostril :)
Dentist Barbie is going to give me nightmares.
Your face in the Barbie picture is AWESOME! If AWESOME=slightly psychotic! In this case, it does.
Before I got braces from 6-12th grades, I had a gap between my two front teeth I could fit my THUMB (small side, not side to side of the nailbed) in between. After 6 years of braces it had closed up, but after 6 months of not wearing a retainer, it returned.
I have had the gap "spackled" or whatever you call it twice as an adult and you know what? It keeps returning. So Eff it. Embrace the gap! See what you can fit in there!
Oh my goodness, you just made my day - kind of sad when you think about it. But still, a nickel, a ladder, wow.
You put a nickel in your mouth? Ew. Money is dirty.
Ok, really the other stuff probably shouldn't have been in your mouth either, but the nickel made me cringe.
I hope your family was amused.
As a dentist, I feel I should tell you to quit shoving stuff between your teeth. You can actually make that gap grow bigger! If you have a gap I agree with Amy Kate and say embrace it, just don't make it bigger!
But, maybe that was your intention?
PS - I still had to laugh at your post though! But maybe you guys should try board games next time. And don't start shoving that little Monopoly iron anywhere!
Dude, Money tastes gross.
Also, you look like you are about to make Barbie your little bitch.
LMAO! Thanks for the entertainment! Like the pic with Barbie. Good thing Ken has a sense of humor. :)
That. Was awesome.
Thanks for sharing your gap with us.
Lindsay
Silly Mom Thoughts
WOW!! I'm particularly impressed with the Lego ladder. I'm headed up to London next week and I will deffo think of you when I ride the Underground and hear that familiar voice saying "Mind the Gap"...!
I bet you couldn't fit a good old English one pound coin in that gap!!
Thanks for the laughs - I remember learning that gap-toothed women were actually considered very attractive back in the day. Apparently less food got stuck in their teeth, so they had better breath or something. Then I guess dental floss was invented and women had to start getting their teeth pushed together. What a pain.
Ha ha! I just can't help but laugh at your post! May I ask what was in your mind while doing these crazy stuff? You're so freakin' funny! Hahaha! Well my husband had gaps on his tooth, too. But he wanted to have a nicer smile so we went to the dentists' office in Las Vegas. Sedation dentist was the one who did the fix on him because my husband hated dental pain. I like his smile much better now, but I wish that he could have done that crazy stuff when he still has that gap tooth.