Geeze Daddy!!
Monday, April 26, 2010 at 7:59AM Grayson: “OK Daddy!! Geeeze!!!”
That’s the shit I’ve been hearing religiously these days.
All it takes is me telling the boy for the second time to please put his shoes on so we can take him to school.
Or to please take a bite of his cereal that’s been sitting there for the past 10 minutes.
Or to stop telling his 5-year-old sister that he knows she’s lying about the fact she dreamt about a unicorn and when she woke up it was standing in her room.
It’s contagious as hell too. Yesterday the wife happened to catch me walking naked to the bathroom so she immediately threw what she was carrying to the ground and screamed, “fine – let’s do this, let’s just knock it out – geeeeze!!!”
The life of a 7-year-old can be so hard, having to always feel entitled enough to throw-down in a split second claiming you’re owed so much more than what you’re getting.
The boy honestly believes the world is against him these days.
Grayson: “What’s for dinner tonight daddy?”
Me: “Hamburgers chief. Hamburgers, salad and corn-on-the-cob. Good eats my man!”
Grayson: “Awwww come on daddy!! You know I don’t like hamburger…geeeze”
At this point he’s walking out of the room like I told him I was going to run over his bike, kill his fish, and smash all is trophies.
Me: “Grayson…seriously? It’s hamburger. What kid doesn’t want a nice, juicy organic meat hamburger? I’ll even throw some cheese on that bad boy for ya!”
Grayson: “Can’t we have sushi?”
Me: “Seriously? Really Grayson, sushi? Are you buying? We can’t afford that Monsieur! Would you like some champagne with your meal?”
Grayson: “STOP DADDY!!! Not everyone likes the same thing!! Macy likes hamburger, I like sushi! GEEEZE!!!”
I don’t know what the solution is.
We put the smack-down on the boy from ever saying “geeeze” ever again. We’ve told him the world is not holding a major conference in downtown Chicago under the theme “How To Make Grayson’s Life Unfair, Unjust and Just Down Right Sucky.”
He’s a work in progress…like the girl…like the wife…like myself…like the blow-up doll in my basement that still wants me to take her out for dinner before we “get it on.”
A work in progress…
Reader Comments (14)
Ahh, parenthood. It's wonderous, isn't it? <huggles for the household>
This may sound like a ridiculous suggestion, but mebbe you can try making burger in sushi form.... I do PB and J sushi rolls all the time for Em's lunch. Does Grayson ever express an interest in assisting with meal prep?
Ha ha! I have 9-yr-old twins who do this to us daily. For one it's that we dare to serve anything but chicken nuggets and fries. For the other it ranges from the fact that the weatherman was wrong, it's 3:00 in the afternoon, she has to wake up, somehow we replaced her shoes with ones two sizes too small the night before, her eyes are hazel and not blue....etc. I wish I could say it's going to get better but....I have a teenage son too and it only takes his father saying "hello" to send him on a rant about why his dad is always on his back. At least it makes for good blog material, eh? Great post.
Damn needy blow up dolls. Always wanting wining and dining before the....well you know.
The annoying word-du-jour over here is "FINE!" Used in almost the same context as your Geeze. When did little kids become so bitchy? Maybe it's my own selective memory, but I can't remember talking that way to my own parents. No wonder you're crying. I'm crying, too! Mean little kids!
OH MY GOSH!!! I just laughed for like 5 minutes at your wife catching you naked walking to the bathroom! Tears streaming down my face...that was good
Maybe he was switched at birth. You know because he has such refined taste and you are a hick. Oh and let's not pretend your blow up doll isn't shriveled in a corner crying.
My seven year old nephew has started saying "It's against the law!" to everything his parents insist he does that he doesn't like. It's pretty amusing from an outsider's perspective, but I'd hate to have to live with it.
I'm laughing...and crying a bit. My daughter just started saying "Jesus!" in response to just about everything that goes on during the day.
Too funny! I actually read this one aloud to my kids. They know all about the word GEEZE. We think Grayson needs to see Napoleon Dynamite. He brings GEEZE to a whole new level.
My 3 year old is constantly telling me "You are stressing me out mama" or "I am not dealing with you right now mama". Kids latch on to exasperation pretty quick in life. At least your son is prepared for marriage since exaspertaion seems to be felt often once you are married. Some day he'll be all like "Geez woman, can you get ready any slower? We're going to be late for sushi" or "I'll mow the lawn when I'm ready, geez".
Wait til they hit 12. The shit gets a lot worse my friend.
The natural progression, of course, is "Geezum Krull" or however it's spelled. Or maybe Geeze is the progression from GK? It's been awhile since I whipped either out.
Regardless, that sounds like a small slice of hell right there.
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