It's All About the Boobs
Monday, September 14, 2009 at 7:43PM Yesterday I was sitting on the couch with the kids, watching some boob tube, when a commercial comes on.
Most parents know that when a commercial comes on, usually the children snap out of the TV coma and begin random acts of destruction. So I was braced for the worst. But instead, my daughter says:
“My head almost reaches mommy’s boobies.”
My son pops up from his seat – “My eyes can look right at mommy’s boobies. Come stand next to me and let’s see how far away you are from looking at mommy’s boobies.”
They then proceed to stand next to each other and begin the arduous process of calculating exactly how far my daughter has to grow before her eyeballs see eye-to-eye with my wifey’s rack.
I honestly didn’t know what to say or how do I react. Do I stand up, lift the boy off the ground by his shirt while screaming, “those bad-boys are mine damn it. You keep your dirt-crusted, goopy eyeballs off them, ya hear?!” Or do I say, “hey children, come sit next to daddy mmmkay! Listen, those are mommy’s personal body objects that are not to be discussed, touched, or looked at, mmmkay?!” Or, do I stand up and say, “Oh yeah, well my belly is even with your midget mother’s boobies which puts them in perfect range for…….” Umm…I didn’t chose that one.
Nope, instead I smiled, chuckled, and realized that those precious mounds I so often admire from a far have entered a new phase. I’ve seen many a boob phase over the past 7 years – pregnancy, birth, nursing, post nursing, etc… And now…measuring stick. I gave up the whole, “I don’t like to share” thing a long time ago.
Regardless of what phase they’re in, they’re fabulous and one of many attributes that make wifey a sexy sexy MILF. Now if I could only get her to agree to let me take pictures for my blog post….
Reader Comments (12)
gawh.... if my husband wrote something like this about me.... i'd have to do "that thang".... ya know, the one that makes him REALLY HAPPY.... cuz this was really sweet, but fuckin HAWT.
if I send you my wife's email, cell phone, schedule.....can you please tell her what you just said? That'd be awesome..thanks!
Lord.
Nice to see how appreciative some men are. I'm 5'8", 150# with 36D's and I don't get the respect my beautifully dressed self deserves. Damn husband.
Let me see if I can channel your husband's energy to see how he really feels. Hold on a sec.......................... yeah..that's what I thought. He totally digs those bad boys. Have no fear.
Hmmmm... I think you just inspired my next post in my Stuff Male People Like series....
http://www.ittybittycrazy.com/imported-data/2009/5/21/stuff-male-people-like-mini-maintenance.html
Ittybittycrazy
Loved the entire post but the "mmmkay" is my fave!
Boobs are one of my favorite things. I may even ask for some time with my wife's boobs for my birthday.
I nursed my daughter until she was 2, so let's just say that my boobs (or really any boobs) are her security object. Over the summer a friend from out of town was visiting. I look over and my daughter (who is now 5) is cuddled up next to her and totally feeling her up. I was so embarrassed and realized that I was actually going to have to give her a talk about touching people's boobs.
Leslee...you're so awesome. Great story... and, if it makes you feel any better, my wife has to have that talk with me at every dinner party we throw. Too much wine, too much beer, and next thing I know...she's yelling at me to "stop!"
Yes, I had to nip (that's a pun isn't it?) that one in the bud before I sent her off to kindergarten. Imagine that phone call....
That's funny. My 4yo daughter is obsessed with saying boobies boobies boobies right now. I'm obsessed with finding a convent for her.