Oooh...and one more thing!
Thursday, December 3, 2009 at 6:42AM Two days have gone by…and we’re already at the “oooh…and one more thing!” phase as the wifey walks out the front door to her jobby job. Oh how evil the flip-side of the coin is. There’s a part of me that thinks that after dropping an “oooh…and one more thing!” list on me, the wifey jumps in the car, cranks the radio, and bee bops her fine ass to work knowing I’m at home throwing stuff animals at my son’s imaginary friends, punching pillows, kicking cushions, and wasting valuable time that could be spent taking care of the “simple activities we’d talked about this morning.”
Wifey: “Hey, so are you picking up the kids today from school?”
Me: “Uh..yeah, I can…but I’m supposed to be making calls, and working on getting a job right?”
Wifey: “Yes dear, but I just thought you….oh, just forget it, I’ll do it.”
Me: “No…I want to do it, I just don’t want it to become this….”
Wifey: “Oooh …and one more thing, could you clean the cat litter box? I just walked down in the basement and it smells like your dirty underwear down there.”
Me: “My dirty underwear is down there…”
Wifey: “Oooh….and one more thing, please don’t spend any money, we really need to be careful.”
Me: “We needed milk…and you said, ‘oooh…and one more thing, could you get some hummus’ remember….!’”
Wifey: “Yeah… I remember, but do you really need all that beer!?”
Me: “Yes!!! Yes I do!!! Do you really need all that..”
Wifey: “Oooh…..and one more thing …can you please just wash one load of laundry…?”
She was a stay-at-home-mom for almost a year. I feel like such an ass cause I can count on my hands, and five of my friends’ hands, how many times I dropped the “oohhh” bomb on her before bolting out the door with the confident feeling that when I got home, the children would be dressed in their dinner clothes, smiling, pulling chairs out for me, asking me how my day was while dinner was wafting through the air, and birds were grasping my top coat and hat to be put away.
And now the shoe is on….yes…the wifey’s foot. And, she doesn’t mean it maliciously. At least I don’t think. I like to think she has no clue that she’s pulling the payback page right out of the book and shoving it up my ass. I like to think she’s giving me payback, without even knowing it! But, that would just be my ignorance showing again.
anger, beer, cat, honey do list, husband, job, laundry, stay at home dad, underwear, wife
Reader Comments (14)
Man that sucks.My husband is on the receiving end of that one, but it's more of the "I don't want to take the 3yo to the store, so could you please stop for bread, and oh we need milk too, and, and , and......" Having a 3yo is like living with Sybil so I try to avoid everything I can that involves leaving the house and keeping some form of decorum.
Yeah, that happened to me too. Except I was the full time student while she attempted to work. Good luck with that. But hey, I found your post amusing. Hope the page from the book is two ply.
You must be drinking and awful lot of beer to remember coming home from work to that style of greeting. Not that there's anything wrong with that. We do what we have to to get through the day.
I'm not gonna lie.....on Tuesdays when I leave for work I like to leave a mess, a list and bolt my hot ass out the door, then turn the music up and think about my poor husband at home with all the kids by himself!!! I'm a horrible person. ;)
Not long and you'll be back out there!! :D
Ha. That made me laugh. Not at you though...with you...I've been a SAHM for many years and have gotten the "Oooh...". It's like Office Space and those damn TPS reports but no office or report so really probably not at all like Office Space.
I feel your pain. I have a home office and get that list sometimes.
I'm a single parent and my office is in my house. There's no one to do The List stuff for me and I don't get to leave when things get messy. I'm jealous! You guys at least have a system.
It is all good buddy!! Relax this month get some leads and capitalize in January!! Now get that laundry started!!
I didn't see anything on her list that included letting you use the computer to go whining to your "friends" about your newfound responsibilities. Now go put the apron on, crack the wife a beer and get dinner started. Hurry, before she gets in there and smacks you on the ass with a kitchen towel and makes you wash the dishes as punishment.
Amanda - taking both my kids is like Sybil...it's painful...and I find myself hiding in the freezer section..
mepsipax - it's only one ply...freakin' cheap people around these parts...
WeaselMomma - I come home so drunk, my reality of what happens every night is always sooo different - the next morning the wifey's all "umm..do you remember you ate a beer bottle for dinner and drank gasoline when you ran out of beer?"
Nina - you're not horrible...you just enjoy seeing your husband in serious pain..... Thanks lady - I appreciate the support!
Laurie - ummmm yeeeahhh...I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Saturday too..mmmkay?
Jack...I feel you pain and don't know how you pull off a home office....more power to you dude..
Curiously Random - damn...that's rough - sending my love lady!! ummm...but I hate to break it to you..the only system that's going on here is our circulatory system...and even that is challenged depending on what I've had to drink that day
Avionicsman - haha..no - it's cat box, THEN the laundry!!
Taj Bryant - wait!!! so, if I don't do what she asks me to I get popped in the ass with a kitchen towel! Shit yeah!! I'm not doing jack!
Yeah, so my ex still does this to me. Even though he's my ex. Since we flip in and out of the damn house (instead of the kids). Of course, there's less of a list than there used to be when we were together and we were both working full time but I was still doing most of the parenting/shopping/cleaning/laundry/etc. At least now he has to deal with the kids' stuff half the time.
Amazing how often those loads of kids' laundry is still sitting around waiting to be washed and/or folded when I take over, though. And how I'm still the one paying most of the bills.
I'm going to go eat some sugar to sweeten the bitterness now.
Loads ARE sitting around. ARE. Dammit.
No, she's thinking, "Man if I was home all that stuff would be done RIGHT!" Cause we chicks are controlling that way.
PS - Thank you for getting rid of comment verification.