Two days have gone by…and we’re already at the “oooh…and one more thing!” phase as the wifey walks out the front door to her jobby job. Oh how evil the flip-side of the coin is. There’s a part of me that thinks that after dropping an “oooh…and one more thing!” list on me, the wifey jumps in the car, cranks the radio, and bee bops her fine ass to work knowing I’m at home throwing stuff animals at my son’s imaginary friends, punching pillows, kicking cushions, and wasting valuable time that could be spent taking care of the “simple activities we’d talked about this morning.”
Wifey: “Hey, so are you picking up the kids today from school?”
Me: “Uh..yeah, I can…but I’m supposed to be making calls, and working on getting a job right?”
Wifey: “Yes dear, but I just thought you….oh, just forget it, I’ll do it.”
Me: “No…I want to do it, I just don’t want it to become this….”
Wifey: “Oooh …and one more thing, could you clean the cat litter box? I just walked down in the basement and it smells like your dirty underwear down there.”
Me: “My dirty underwear is down there…”
Wifey: “Oooh….and one more thing, please don’t spend any money, we really need to be careful.”
Me: “We needed milk…and you said, ‘oooh…and one more thing, could you get some hummus’ remember….!’”
Wifey: “Yeah… I remember, but do you really need all that beer!?”
Me: “Yes!!! Yes I do!!! Do you really need all that..”
Wifey: “Oooh…..and one more thing …can you please just wash one load of laundry…?”
She was a stay-at-home-mom for almost a year. I feel like such an ass cause I can count on my hands, and five of my friends’ hands, how many times I dropped the “oohhh” bomb on her before bolting out the door with the confident feeling that when I got home, the children would be dressed in their dinner clothes, smiling, pulling chairs out for me, asking me how my day was while dinner was wafting through the air, and birds were grasping my top coat and hat to be put away.
And now the shoe is on….yes…the wifey’s foot. And, she doesn’t mean it maliciously. At least I don’t think. I like to think she has no clue that she’s pulling the payback page right out of the book and shoving it up my ass. I like to think she’s giving me payback, without even knowing it! But, that would just be my ignorance showing again.
