A Day With Pink Ducky
Sunday, November 15, 2009 at 8:31AM So we have a ducky. A pink ducky to be exact. He’s a cool dude, hangs out, doesn’t really cause much trouble. The little bastard used to light up from within. When we first brought him into our crazy life he was a rock-star. The kids slept with him…the daughter held him on a pedestal. Mainly because his flashing guts made them feel like the owner of the most bad-ass piece of awesomeness that ever existed.
Then his lights stopped blinking.
He spent a week shoved between the mattress and the wall of my daughter’s bed until he was saved by the ole fashioned sheet changing maneuver. Then he lived on my daughter’s dresser and was there the day fishy died. A week later, the daughter rediscovered him and he was transported to the tub. Since that time, he’s become one of two dozen toys crammed in a bathtub toy baggy, rarely played with, constantly cold, damp, wet, and ignored. Until yesterday.
During a regular shower routine, I noticed pink ducky chillin’ in his bathtub bag. Sad. Angry. Depressed. I scooped him up and said, “hey little man!!! What do you say I make today, YOUR day?”
Three high-fives and a wing-bump later, we were on our way to live life to its fullest. And so….here’s our day….
He drove us to a pancake breakfast where he quickly scoffed one plate after plate after plate of yumminess. He carbo loaded like a master.
After we got home, well fueled pink ducky said, "all right bitches...let's go for a ride!" So the whole family hopped on our bikes and headed out.
Along the way we made a stop cause ducky got wood.
Knowing this would probably be the last time pink ducky ever has a day in the real world, he thought he'd make his mark and let everyone know how he feels about the war.
Worn out, pink ducky ate a quick little snack and setteled in for some TV time and a nap. I took off and took care of some stuff around the house. An hour later I went back to check on everyone and pink ducky was gone. I looked everywhere. Then...I found him.....and was horrified.....
I decided to leave them alone....and let them get done what clearly needed to get done. Lucky ducky.
Then we headed out for dinner with our good friends, the @momomatic family. It was there that Pink Ducky decided to get his "drink on."
And that wasn't enough.....afterwards he hit the liquor store for more....
Pink ducky didn't just get drunk....he got stupid drunk. He took his clothes off. He streaked a Chuck-E-Cheeze. He got depressed and tried to cut himself open to remove his dead flashy light thingy. He told off-color racist jokes. He even made passes at the wifey. Then...like all good stupid drunk pink duckies do....he got sick.
He puked like he'd never puked before. We all got to experience his Mexican dinner all over again. A couple hours later, we cleaned him all up, laughed about the memories, gave each other hugs, and promised we'd do it again soon. I love that little pink bastard.
After I tucked him in to his cozy warm bubble bath for night time, I cried myself to sleep and dreamt of pink ducky and me running through fields of dazies, laughing, and being free, together, and happy.....
The End
Reader Comments (10)
What a great laugh for a Sunday morning! You are hilarious as well as blessed with a great imagination. I love that x-rated pic with Barbie; it totally cracks me up!
hahahahaha....ya know, my daughter has a bin in the bathtub FILLED with rubber duckies....there is even a devil duck in there....there could be some good times. Seriously though, I loved the post, and my pregnant bladder is seriously getting squished a little too much to be laughing like that. Keep up the good work!
I loved this pink ducky post. So clever! We have a ilttle blue duck and I think if your pink ducky & our blue ducky ever got together they might wreak havoc, lol.
Thank You So Much. I needed that laugh more than you'll ever know. I need to invite pink ducky to my house. LOL
hi fives and wing bumps all around to the dude that can take a pink ducky and make me laugh my rear off!
Laughed so hard I cried, but concluded that you obviously have too much time on your hands....
Kat - thanks - pink ducky had the greatest day of his life and lost his virginity...all at once!!
MamaBennie - thanks lady...damn, you haven't birthed that kid yet?
@drlori75 - just don't let Barbie find out
slapSomebody - pink ducky would love to come visit! Lock your barbies up though...I'm just sayin
bridgette - wing bumps right back missy. He's a cool cool ducky...glad he could give you the giggles for a bit
Brittany - I wish I had too much time on my hands? It's called multitasking...mix chillin' with the kids with pink ducky madness and wha-la!
haha I am not birthing this child until March.....although I wish it were sooner.
Dear Sir,
You are quite clearly unhinged and have a tad too much time on your hands.
Keep up the good work.
It's beautiful.
Regards,
- BFG
I love Pink duckies adventures! Can hardly wait for his next day out! :-)