It’s kind of ironic that one of the main Twitter topics yesterday was things I miss from my childhood, because it’s been something I’ve been carefully pondering for some time now.
See, I had this aspiration of sitting down, growing a huge long beard, smoking lots of weed, and writing this amazing tell-all book about my childhood.
Then, family, fatherhood, honey-do lists, and the like happened. Mr. Book probably isn’t ever going to happen.
So, now, I’ve decided to stop sandbagging my drunken dad childhood memories and start blogging them. Why not, right?
So, I started to make a list of possible blog topics I could cover in-between writing about things like why I’d make a shitty terrorist, how winters are a cock-blocking drought for me, and the unfortunate history of a Snuggie family gone wrong.
A sneak peak at my “childhood possible blog topics yet to come”:
- My brother shooting BB’s at my feet in the garage to make me dance
- My brother throwing me outside tied up and naked
- Coming home drunk for the first time
- My brother and I being chased by my rabid mother and her deadly wooden spoons.
But in the process of tossing together a wandering list, I couldn’t help but ponder the wonderful things I miss from my childhood.
Those blue bastards were so magical at the time. Papa Smurf had all the answers and Smurfette was so damn hott. Gargamel was that nasty bastard next door, or in my case, my father. Regardless, you always pulled for the short acid-trip characters to kick some ass and persevere.
That guy makes MacGyver look like a bish. I’ll never forget dropping my book-bag at the door, whipping open the refrigerator door, finding my favorite strawberry and banana yogurt, and plopping down on the chair to take in yet another episode of this cartoonish clutz as he solves an unforgettable crime.
Life was so simple then.
I’ll never forget the hotel room I was in when MTV went live on the air. It was like seeing porn for the first time.
The sound blaring through the TV set. The feeling of not giving a rat’s ass as you let the music video reveal how your life just “should be.” All filled with the anticipation of what video could possibly be next?!
Then, the impossible happened when I was hitting my teenage years. MTV launched Headbangers Ball. I was blessed with the ability to listen to hardcore, talented musicians at a time of day when we had to sneak out of bed to watch. Rebellion mixed with bad-assnes for the win!!!
MTV and Headbangers Ball were the staple of my existence well into college until the network completed its journey of slowly turning into complete shit.
So enough of my ramblings. Those are three prize 1980’s kid choices…what are yours? Tell me what in the hell you miss.