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If You Blog And Start To Meet People

So today’s post will be based off the ever popular, “If you give a mouse a cookie.”

If you don’t know it, my bad…you’ll catch on pretty quick to the flow. If you do know it…I feel your pain, although, it is a damn good story.

So…here we go:

If You Blog And Start To Meet People

If you blog and start to meet people in your town,

They might learn you’re a complete douchebag.

And if they learn you’re a complete douchebag,

They might look at your wife kind of funny.

If they look at your wife kind of funny,

She might say, “I try but just look at the way he drools!

And if they look at the way you drool,

They might say, “Awwww….I bet he’s really cute when he’s asleep!?”

And if they think you’re kind of cute when you’re sleeping,

They might also think you don’t pass gas and kick your left leg uncontrollably.

And if they think you have self control they might also think you’re dad of the year,

And if they think you’re dad of the year,

They might nominate you for some fancy award and a ticker-tape parade,

And if shards of paper are falling all around you while people say “dad of the year,”

You might check your medication,

And if you check your medication you’ll notice you’ve over medicated yourself,

And if you’ve over medicated yourself you’ll realize you’ve actually fallen asleep with the paper shredder over your head again,

And if you’re fallen asleep with the paper shredder over your head again,

You might use the scraps to invite people over for drinks,

And if you invite people over for drinks you might start talking too damn much,

And if you start talking too damn much you might spill the beans about your blog,

And if you start to spill the beans about your blog well…

People might start to learn you’re a real douche!!


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Reader Comments (12)

LOVE IT! Too bad you're not in my current'd make it a far more tolerable place. I heart you and your fam-fam!

September 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWanda Mae

If only the original book was this compelling.

September 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterOld School/New School Mom

Hilarious. Luckily I live in a place where many people still don't have email accounts they actually check. Thank goodness, otherwise Dumb Dad would be SO much more embarrassed by me than he already is.

September 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdumb mom

Haha! Well done, well done! Of course we have all these books... :)

September 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLoukia

Ha! this is cute. I lean toward Fight Club rather than "Mouse Cookie" here
First rule of blogging...don't talk about blogging.
Of course I break that rule. Get the shit beat out of me sometimes. whee.
best luck.

September 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSilver

Very clever daddy. I'm fairly confident when people meet you they already think you're a douche without the blog mention ;)

Nicely done.

September 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLady of the House

LMAO!!! This was good!!!

September 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIrene

CLASSIC!!! Been there, done that, never pretty.

September 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDeanna

Fabulous post! You're right about spilling the beans about blogging, though. It takes life's little secrets and spreads them around like a pile of manure.

You're an idiot. A true American Idiot. I love you man!!!! Your my quasi-hero.

September 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTheRunningFarmer

Hilarious... And no, myles and I don't think you're a douche. We like your crew.

September 5, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelly Reif

Holy crap! It's an endless cycle. Being a real douchebag is just unavoidable sometimes.

September 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLori Wescott

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