Cussing & the Kids
Wednesday, June 30, 2010 at 9:18AM “Sit the fuck down and eat your damn dinner!!!”
That phrase has probably been on the tip of every frustrated parent’s tongue at dinner time since the invention of kids. It’s on mine nine time out of ten.
But at the last second, that tiny little filter kicks in, erases “the fuck” and “damn” and cranks out the appropriate, “Sit down and eat your dinner!!”
Cussing in front of the kids is becoming more and more of an issue for me the older they get. The boy is hearing the words at school and even knows how to spell them.
“Daddy, I know how to spell the ‘F-word’. Wanna hear it?”
This is going to shock you but I cuss like a goddamn sailor. As soon as the kids’ heads hit their little pillows I flip the switch off and just let it flow.
But recently, that switch has been a bit lose and I’ve accidently dropped an “ass” or “shit” here and there. The boy is always quick to say, “daddy!!! You just said a bad word.” Or the wife quickly snaps her fingers at me as I feel my testicles cringe and the hair stand-up on the back of my neck.
It usually only happens when I’ve broken something, or hit my massive noggin on something. I always feel awful after I say it, too.
I follow it up with, “Grayson and Macy, you know you’re not supposed to say those words right?”
“Yes daddy, we know.”
I have a buddy who has “Cuss Friday” with his two boys that are 7 and 12 years old. Every Friday he allows them to say any cuss word they want. The rules: they can only say it to their father, their mother can never know (even though she does), and if they ever cuss in public or to another person the privilege of the game is over forever.
At some level I can appreciate that. It’s like controlled cussing in a way. But, then I envision what that would be like with my son and me.
Me: “What’s up motherfucker?”
Son: “Not much cock-smoke. Can I have some goddamn juice asshole?”
Me: “Shit yes you can. Go get it your fucking self.”
Son: “Fuck you old man, you go fetch it ass-bag.”
Me: “Don’t be a dick son. I’m not going to get it.”
Son: “FINE!! Goddamn it. I have to do everything!!”
After I play that through my mind I just can’t do it. I think I’ll stick with the modern version of the way it used to be: father works on lawn mower, scrapes knuckles along bolt, says “shit!!!!,” wife who is gardening near-by says “Walter!! The children for goodness sakes!!,” and father says, “sorry kids. Daddy shouldn’t have said that word. That’s a bad word and you should never say bad words.”
bad language, cuss, cuss friday, daughter, leave it to beaver, parenting, son
Reader Comments (24)
My husband's father had a rule while he was younger, he was only allowed to cuss if they were working on something together and he hurt himself. It kept the cussing demons at bay.
In our house, the situation is reversed. I'm the one who never curses... ever*. (Yeah, I know I'm a freak.) My wife is the one who learned to curse from hockey players (who apparently can give sailors a run for their money). My wife will be the one to slip and say "What the f---? Clean up this s--- before I throw it out!" while I will shoot her the "Please don't curse in front of the kids look."
* Ok, I did curse one time, but it was intended solely to get a reaction out of my long-time friend who knew I never cursed. So I went for the worst curse word I knew. Yes, I just blurted out the "c-word" out of nowhere while he was driving. He almost ran off the road!
Cuss Friday - that sounds so cool. So much better then my "cuss under your breath and hope no one heard day."
Laughing My Fuckin' Ass Off!! Whew....I hope that's it for the day. Let's just say I put most Sailors to shame! So your post could not have come at a better time as Hubby and I are trying to control the cuss words.. Wish is fucking luck!
OH my goodness.... perfect example... kids are making a mess in the kitchen...
ME: Son of a.....and then catch myself before saying B!TC#
The kids in UNISON: BITCH..
Yay ! Chalk another one up to great parenting skills! O_o
WOW, Cuss Friday huh? That sounds really cool on the surface, but I don't know how long I could control myself with my son calling me his bitch!
I'm not the greatest when it comes to controlling my profanity around the kids, but I'm getting better and like you said, I feel horrible about it whenever I do.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I love the idea of Cussin Friday !!! My "filters" seem to get worn down the more my kid pushes my buttons....she's an evil bitch. ROFL
I cuss, alot. and I have never hidden it from my kids. I cuss in front of them. But they still know they are not allowed to cuss until they are 21 or no longer living in my house. DO as I say not as I do. I let my kids have a free cuss session one time for about 3 minutes and let them say any cuss words they wanted to and that it would be their only time and it would never happen again. They knew the cuss words but didn't really know how to use them together. It was quite interesting. "Hey, fucker bitch" "Fuck you bitch ass"
*wipes away tears*
We have a "swearing jar" here. Anytime anyone swears, they're supposed to put a dime in the jar. And if I wasn't such a foulmouth we'd never go on a family vacation.
I've taught my boys that there are no "bad" words, it's how they are used that can be bad. We are terrible about swearing in front of the kids, but our rule is that we don't make a big deal about it in the house, but explain to them that other grownups don't approve of kids swearing, and it's impolite to do so around other adults. This has taken the whole sense of them "getting away with something" when they swear. By now they generally do it in context.
I'm the one in our house guilty of the swearing. I've toned it down some but it keeps slipping out. Of course, Tessa doesn't talk yet, but I know I'm in some deep shit when she does because I'm almost positive her first word is going to be "douchebag" or "fucking asshole" (Those are daddy's driving words).
@Little Animation - I've always wondered about the swearing jar, but knew I'd go so screwed in the deal.
That was hilarious. Even more appropriate for me now that boy mimics everything we do now ... down to trying to pronounce the words we say. We just bought a new car with Bluetooth, so now I have to be even more careful when I answer a call from a friend. I get the "What up fuck-face?" from them and my wife shoots me a look ... like it is all my fault.
And "Cuss Friday" sounds fun, but I'm sure I'd let it get out of hand.
As the mother of 3, ( 21, 18 and 9) my cuss filter has way passed it's warranty. My husband rarely swears but when he does the world shuts down and small countries fall into the ocean. I however see the words as just words, they help make my point and without changing my tone. My 21 yr old will tell you, nothing NOTHING is more scary than your mom smiling and saying, "honey would you mind cleaning your filthy fucking room today before I burn it to hell?" thanks love. and walking away whistling.. She is an abnormal psych major and I thank my parenting skills for giving her an edge on all those "normal" kids.
Okay, hilarious!
I don't remember ever wanting to cuss as a kid, but I did flip my grandma off and ask her what it meant. She wasn't thrilled, so I guessed it wasn't a nice gesture.
My son is only two, so it's not really an issue yet, but I just can't cuss. I'm one of those people that sounds really stupid if I cuss- like I'm trying too hard. I'm not a pansy or anything... yeah, now I feel like I should start cussing so I can commiserate with fellow parents about not cussing. Shit...
No, see, that was just weird.
That seriously made me laugh out loud. I blame my grandfather for my sailor tongue, and he was a sailor. Every other word was goddamn this and goddamn that and I won't even begin to tell you about the hatred that came out of his potty mouth for other ethnicities...
But I like the idea of "Cuss Friday", don't think it's a good idea with a 6-year old quite yet since he doesn't know all the words – but maybe when he's older. Strange, but I swore around my mom growing up, but never my dad until after I was eighteen. Still to this day I think I censor myself around him.
Haha! DH & I both used to work the bar scene.. (as in got paid to be behind the bar) lol we cuss like no ones business..its horrible sometimes..and if you catch me in a mood..oh god forbid!! (and im moody..im a woman...with no uterus..get the picture?) LMAO think pre-menopause at 28 yo with an almost 4 yo daughter and an 18mo son..in the country, closest neighbor's a 1/4 mile away..as the crow flies... but since dd first repeated her first cuss word (that dh let slip....!) we've been watching our mouths quite a bit better..if one of us slips they other says "language"..blah blah blah. We have money banks for both kids..they have more money (well...iou's!) than I've ever held in my hands at one time in my life. If we get to feeling too broke, we invite a few dirty mouthed friends over...they dont have kids..they cuss bad...they pay the price! :D most words are a quarter..though f*ck is $1..godda**it is $2 & cu*t is $5. I HATE that word :P a couple thanksgivings ago, a friend brought an old friend from college over..man that girl musta been raised in the bowels of a ship coz her language was beyond obscene..at one point she was going on and on and on about her college education and i interrupted her and looked at her and asked her where she graduated from, because the way she talks she sounds illiterate and absurd..not to mention all the cussing makes her sound worse than an idjit. She graduated from Texas A&M...damned aggies ruining the world. Let's just say she left $25 poorer than she came :P and my kids will get to go to college because of...that's right... CUSS WORDS :D
oh & uhm..in case that doesnt make sense...i dont give a fuck...i hurt and im on pain meds :D thank you and have a
fantasticbitchin day ;)lol had to get those out..of course ;)
LOL! I admit that I have a bit of a potty mouth so I really try hard to control it around the kids. I learned my lesson when my son was a toddler. We were driving somewhere when someone cut me off. When I finally got past the fool, I saw that it was some old woman who could barely see over the steering wheel. I let my road rage peak out and muttered "fucking old biddy!!". About thirty seconds later my 2.5 year old pipes up from the back seat in his prescious little voice "fucking old biddy!" Obviously, I've learned to keep my road rage reigned in when the kids are in the back seat. LOL
My problem is that I don't give a shit if my kids swear. But I know other people do. My older son is only 4 and already knows fuck and ass. Good job, huh? We are trying to teach him that these words are "sad words", that we shouldn't say them because some people get sad when they hear them, then we try to substitute some other silly word. When he gets older though? He'll understand better and he can say what he says.
Yes, I am often "glared" at for using such language around the kids. My husband didn't think much of it when we just had the boy...now that we also have a girl, it's a whole other story.
However, I taught my son at about 3 1/2 every word I could think of and what they meant, how they're used in vocabulary etc. This was brought on by him coming home from preschool one day telling about one of the other kids saying a "bad word" at school and getting in trouble for it and he wanted to know why the word was bad.
I explained to him why these words were inappropriate for use by children, even teenagers.
I did give him an "out" for a while...told him that he was allowed to say them ONLY to myself and ONLY if he didn't know what they meant or why someone would get in trouble for saying them.
He'll be 8 in a few weeks and will just give someone a raised eyebrow when they use such language and will even put you in your place very
intelligentlysmart-ass like without the attitude.In my opinion teaching him what the words meant and how they can make very intelligent people sound stupid has taken the novelty away from using such language.