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« An Open Letter to Santa | Main | Straddling the Line »

A Day With Pink Ducky Part Deux

A month ago, almost to the day, I pulled a good little plastic dude from the depths of depression and showed him one hell of a good day. Yep, Pink Ducky.

He was stuck in a real bad routine of sitting in a rotting, moldy bath-tub bag, alone, cold, depressed. So I showed him a good time!

Well, after posting pictures from his day on Twitter and this blog, Pink Ducky became a star. He got an endorsement deal from Jared Galleria of Expensive-Ass Jewelry and got paid!

I kinda lost track of the little guy cause he was so damn busy. Then, on Saturday I woke-up to the smell of waffles wafting through the air. Everyone in the house was asleep, so the first thing that came to mind was, “Oh shit, someone broke in my house to make waffles!” Thinking of family first, I grabbed a bat and walked downstairs holding the wifey in front of me for protection. And much to my glee I found Pink Ducky!!!

“You’ve been in a slump,

And feeling like a chump,

So I’m crankin’ out some waffles and here to say,

Today is gonna be YOU’RE day!!”

“Why the hell are you talking in rhyme’s Pink Ducky,” I asked?

“It’s kind of a long story,

But if you really wanna know the whole thing will be on Maury.”

“You were interviewed on the Maury Povich Show? Damn Pink Ducky, you’re a rock star!”

Anyway, the conversation continued…. But the bottom line was, the little bastard wanted to lift my spirits and enjoy a day together. So…we caught the first train to the city.

Then, he brought me to the Sears Tower.

Once we got up top he said, “Everything you see here can be yours if you try,

Damn..this is getting scary…we’re up pretty freakin’ high.”

After telling Pink Ducky the rhyming stuff was getting pretty damn old, we headed out for some grub at Ada’s Restaurant.

Then, we went to the Marshall Fields building (Macy’s) and wrote letters to Santa.

Not five damn minutes after Pink Ducky wrote his letter, Santa freakin’ delivered. That’s the luckiest Pink Ducky I’ve ever seen in my life.

Then, after dodging falling ice, having to deal with Pink Ducky having an “accident” cause the bathroom was broken, and buying him a pair of Crocs – the #2 ranked article of clothing on the list of things I can’t stand….#1 of course being the Snuggie – he decided he knew what my problem was.

“You know what’s wrong with you baby?

You’ve got to learn how to get down and sexified with your lady”

So we pounded a shitty PBR and headed home.

Then he whipped-out the guitar and showed me the art of serenading.

Took me on a tour of my wifey’s naughty drawer.

And showed me how a glass of red wine always helps get thing started.

But none of it helped. Pink Ducky failed. I tried to break it easy to him that I was still pretty depressed but he kept getting calls on his cell phone and said he had to run off to “a thing.”

In the end – it was kinda cool hanging out with the little fella again. And I do miss him. And I can’t freakin’ wait for the Maury show so I can find out why the hell he talks in rhymes.

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Reader Comments (13)

Oh this pink ducky thing just quacks me up!! I am a closet make all the animals, toys, food, beverages talk to my children. Now they are old and ALAS they do not enjoy the antics of their mother's voices. Keep on rockin' PD!!

December 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaurel

Hehehe! It was funny following the adventures of Pink Ducky on Twitter the other day! Bring back the Pink Ducky! :-D

December 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMike

Great post man. If a pink ducky day doesn't cheer you up, maybe it is time for drugs?
BTW this was hilarious.

December 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermepsipax

Pink Ducky sounds like a good friend to have around. You are one lucky guy ... even if he did splash around in wifey's frilly things.
PD better give up his rhyming though... I won't put up with it.

December 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercjaxon

BRILLIANT! Just what I needed to lift my spirits after having a shitty glucose test, and the lab lady putting tape on me that ripped my skin off.

December 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMamaBennie

PD is always good for a fun time! Loved the latest adventure!

Love the new blog layout as well :)

December 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

you're ridiculous, but...i thank you for it! amazing!

December 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlissa

You are such a dumbass. I heart you J Dog. Really, I do.

December 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermyturtledove

Pink Ducky got my sister pregnant and then split. He's really not a good guy.

December 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLori Wescott

That is quite a duck.

December 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJack

Ummmm, Pink Ducky and I have been corresponding on for about 4 weeks. I know he's a player and all, but there is something about that bastard I just can't resist. He really wants to finally meet me--because nothing says hot loving that a romance between Pink Ducky and a fluffy 40 year old "wannabe" cougar single mom. Please, in the name of love and on-line dating, send My Little Pink Ducky-kims to Texas. You can't stop true love. ;-)

December 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisaB (LadyWanderlust)

You are one funny man! I love the whole "holding the wifey in front of me for protection" thing. Boy she must feel really safe at night (eye roll). I must confess though, I am developing quite a crush on that hot little ducky and, judging from the comments above, I'm not the only one who is falling for his charms. That's one lucky ducky! ;)

December 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKat (@kathym425)

Love the adventures of Pink Ducky! But I think your wife needs to be wearing the things in her naughty drawer...not Ducky.

December 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLojo

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