At Least I Still Have a Job, Right?!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009 at 10:31AM Well….at least I still have a job, right?! That’s what I keep telling myself.
Yesterday I was told by my employer that I had a choice. I could take a significant salary decrease—my salary will be cut in half—or, I could resign effective December 1, and continue to receive my regular pay check through the end of February.
At least I still have a job right?
I haven’t felt emotion like that in years. My boss sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher as he talked to me and my head was spinning as I thought about our mortgage, car payment, bills, food, my impending drug habit, and of course, my kids.
I moved my family from Virginia to Chicago for this job—one of the biggest decisions of my life. I lived in an empty house by myself on an air mattress for 6 months while my wife and kids stayed in Virginia trying to sell our house. I saw them once a month during that time, if I was lucky. I’ve busted my ass, taken the organization to a new level on many fronts……and now….
But, at least I still have a job, right?
People all over the world are being handed pink slips today, tomorrow….. People who’ve probably worked twice as hard and long as me are now sitting at home fretting over how to pull the pieces together. And my heart breaks for them.
Yesterday as I sat there I was shaking. I wanted to cry. I wanted to beat the ever loving shit out of something. I wanted my mommy. I wanted to go back in time. I wanted to give my boss shaken-baby syndrome. I wanted to never feel this helpless again.
I stood up, tucked my tail between my legs, packed my shit up, walked out of the building, grabbed a beer and shot of Jager and started my journey home. The longest walk of shame in my life. There’s nothing less manly than coming home to your family, wearing the “bread-winner” hat, and having to explain that our lives will significantly alter and that we have a major decision to make.
I’m beginning to see potential paths appearing in front of me. Some are riddled with obstacles and have risk written all over them. Others are straight, smooth roads and make the most sense. The difficult part will be thumping myself hard enough in the nuts to buck-up, pick a path and start walking down it. The other difficult part will be not letting this beat me mentally….not taking it personally….not letting it affect the way I view myself as a person, worker, father, husband. And I won’t….
So I’ll rally, figure this shit out and hope for the best. At least I still have a job, right?
Reader Comments (40)
unbelievable. from what little i know of you through reading your posts, i know you'll get through this. those words must sound trite, but i believe them. God bless, brother... -jco-
My husband recently was laid off from his job (beginning of Nov) He's still getting full pay until Feb so we have that buffer but I can relate to all the stress and crap you are dealing with.
Good luck, keep strong! And may the Snuggie be with you! (sorry, couldn't resist ;)
Wishing you all the best buddy. Having suffered in aviation for 19 years now I have lost my job 6 times. During 9/11 I lost my job the first month I was at the one airline. And was laid off and recalled another two times after that. Given your attitude I am sure you will be given something even better.
I am so sorry that you have to deal with this on top of what you are already dealing with (sick children). I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason and that G-d won't close a door without opening up another one for you. This is what has gotten me by since 2005 when I became disabled at work and lost my job because of it. Obviously G-d has other plans for you and your family. Better plans, with a brighter future. I know that not knowing what tomorrow will bring doesn't help your situation at the moment, but you must keep your head held up high not only for your children, but for your own well being.
Maybe you were meant to be your own boss. From what I have read in your blog, I'm guessing maybe a writer and or a publisher. Take this negative and turn it into something positive. I know, easier said then done. Go back to school online and you could have a new career in a short period of time. I know yuck school. That's what I thought before heading back to school in January of 2007. I held my own personal pity party for myself from Dec 05 til Jan 07. Then I decided enough is enough, no more pity parties, no more disability, no more letting awful companies like the one that screwed me over for being a loyal, faithful, dependable, hardworking person for yrs. I enrolled in school. In January I will have finished this program and will be able to enter back into the work force with my disability. That's not enough for me, I start Law School in the fall.
My point is, you have control of your life and your future. Grab it by the balls, take it on with your head held high, and let me tell you my friend, you will do well. This is just a minor set-back for a brighter future that awaits you and your wonderful family.
And as always if you need anything, I'm only a few hour drive away in the good ol burbs of Detroit!
Shit dude that sucks. I can only imagine the crap running through your head because I am the "bread winner" of my home. My wife choose to stay home to raise our kids and they are still to young for her to go back to work. I fear what happened to you so I give you credit because you seem to be dealing with with it the best you can. It is a kick in the balls and a kick in the stupid manhood, provider and all that crap most men feel about themselves. Hang in...
Your a Real Man, Real Dad and Real Husband...Stay strong! Good things happen to good people is what I keep telling myself.
I'm sorry that's happened. It's so scary how you are going along nicely then wham your whole world is changed...just like that.
I hope you manage to come up with some ideas of how to get through this change.
For what its worth...When you look at those paths, don't forget the one where you are an incredibly talented writer. I have been too sick to even sign into twitter for days but signed in today to say Happy Thanksgiving and there was one other place I had to stop and read---@whyisdaddycryin blog. Yes, you're that good. Walk tall Daddy and most of all just keep walking.
So sorry to hear. Nothing worse than not having the power to change your circumstance...FYI - both Tod (AvionicsMan) and I lost our father's this year...has a way of putting things in perspective. I do believe what your buddy futsnuckingmamma (is that it?) said - things happen for a reason. It must have been time to make a change. (you're a fabulous writer! )
Hang in there. I'm sure you'll lose better jobs at some point in your future. Know what I'm saying? It's JUST a job. It doesn't define who you are as a person (I actually wrote a newspaper column about that very topic).
Same thing happened to me about a month ago, although I wasn't really given a choice about having my salary cut. I was just told I'd continue to be paid until February 1.
I was actually happy because it meant I get to spend more time with the kids, and I'm technically being paid to find another job.
Hang in there and try to see the positive things about your situation.
I am sending my best wishes your way, and I hope that everything works out in a way that you feel is best. I know it is really tough right now. People at hubby's work have been getting let go left and right, and I am always in fear that I will get that call from him. He does have things he can fall back on, but it just really freaks me out on a daily basis. Where he works, they don't just give paycuts....it is called a permanent lay-off. A million things go through my head every day. I think about the new baby, feeding our first born and what we would do without having our insurance. It is really scary, but it is all reality right now, and I am sure you will find what is best. You are a wonderful father and a good man.
I hear ya dude. I hear ya. I lost mine three weeks ago. I took two days to cry, scream and not be able to see two feet in front of me nevermind be able to function. But, you know what? BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED. I am so freaking happy now, feel completely liberated and empowered and appreciate my life like never before. We still don't know exactly how we are going to keep our house, but we have some ideas so we are just going to try each one and see which one sticks. Keep your head up dude. Everyone told me "everything happens for a reason" when I lost my job and I wanted to punch them in their ever lovin faces, but seriously, it's true.
You will make this sucky life phase into an opportunity. Anyone would be lucky to get someone like you on their staff.
I feel for you, because we are going through the same thing, except with a twist. Ontop of taking a pay cut (we are getting a half from what we were making for the past year and a1/4 from what we were making just 2 years ago) we are in deep debt, because my husband is the owner. I do tell myself we can change this, it is all within our power, but it still feels like we are smacking a brick wall more often than not. *sigh* Good Luck to your family and you. And trust me, I feel no differently toward my husband because he is bringing in less money, if anything I have more faith and appreciation for what he is doing.
It's like being a military spouse. You're not supposed to complain about anything because others have spouses who are deployed and yours is home. You're totally entitled to feel like you got sucker punched and have feelings about it. Someone will always have ti worse, but that's not your situation. Sometimes we just need to stomp our feet, piss and moan for 10 minutes, then move on. You'll figure something out.
I understand and relate to this so very well. Been meaning to write a post about it and just haven't had the energy to attack it.
I can't even begin to tell everyone who commented on this post how incredible each of you are. I wrote this on a whim, just to vent...... The response I've gotten is overwhelming at best. The stories some of you have told, the hardships you've weathered, the situations some of you are still in.....
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm humbled, rejuvenated, lucky, angry, frustrated, and fortunate. The impact of this economy is so far reaching is scary. I wish all of you dealing with it, my best. And those who have survived, thank you for your encouragement. I am extremely lucky to still have a job. It could have been worse.
Thank you all so very much!
It's a crazy time we're living in right now. But you definitely have the right perspective rolling into this.Take the bull by the horns and ride it!
You can do it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I'll be thinking of your and your family...
...and I hope that you won't have to resort to building a shelter from Snuggies.
Keep writing, it is so cathartic and helpful, though slightly less fun than hanging out with Jack, Jose and Jim.
Hopefully after revisiting this post for your top 10 blogs that its clear to see a new and better path was found for you and your family. A path you would have missed previously.