The Movie!


Why is Daddy Crying?

Click here to view the full size version at YouTube>



Meet the Insanity


The Wife



Get Updates!

Email Goodness
* indicates required

Blogs I Dig
Previous Ramblings
Search It

« This Past Month I Did Some Shit | Main | Because.... »

My Chest is All Swollen

Swollen from my first experience as a proud dad after watching my son win something. Not like a soccer game, or a video game…but a bike race.

For the past couple weeks the boy’s been coming home blabbing about some bike race at the zoo nearby. My floppy ears perked up a bit, given that we’ve put some serious miles on his bike this summer. I was all: “that’s cool, dude. We should do it and see how you do!”

It was somewhat on my radar, but nowhere near like it was on his.

Come Sunday, he woke up pretty early. He climbed in bed and said, “daddy, I couldn’t stop dreaming about the bike race and buying a cap gun.” Oh…I forgot to mention, I promised him I’d buy him a cap gun the day before, because he broke a catapult gun a friend had given him that day.

I’m getting sidetracked here, but bare with me… I fucking hate Wal-Mart. I don’t mean hate like I don’t like it. I mean hate like I want some science experiment to go completely wrong so that a huge giraffe is born and goes on a tirade obsessing over eating Wal-Marts across the country and when he’s done he takes a big steamy poop on the empty shell of a building encircling it with signs that read… “I shit on you Wal-Mart. I shit, and spit on you Wal-Mart” (read in a bad French accent). I hate it like that. But…we went anyway because I was confident it was the redneckiest store around that I was confident would have cap guns.

Later that day it was time for the race. My little guy has on his kaki shorts, a red polo shirt, and green checkerboard slip-on Vans. I was all: “ sure you wanna wear that for the bike race?”

And he was all: “yeah….why? Should I tuck my shirt in?”

We get to the zoo and we’re waiting in line….a long line. He’s not saying a word, he’s just looking around. I finally said, “are you OK dude?”

And he said, “daddy, I’m nervous.”

“It’s cool if you wanna bail and just watch the race.”

“No way…I’m gonna win this thing!!!” he yelled.

The race track was about 1/3 of a mile around a huge fountain and they raced in groups – preschoolers, 1st and 2nd graders, etc… So he was all jacked up ready to bike in the 1st and 2nd graders boy division. Then - they called all the 1st and 2nd grader boys and girls to the line. That’s when we got a look at which kids were going to race against him. We both knew…he was gonna get his ass drug.

The girls did their race, then it was time for the boys. I said, “Gray…just have fun man. This is so cool – enjoy it! My best advice, stay close to the inside of the loop, look straight ahead, and just go.”

“These are some big boys daddy. I don’t think I can beat them.”

I slapped him on top of the helmet and said, “just ride hard and have fun, man.”

So 20+ 1st and 2nd graders line up and he’s looking kinda little. The gun went off and my dude stood up on his pedals and never looked back.

(Son is third from the right in the red Polo shirt)

(From the start he takes the lead)

From the beginning he led and never gave it up. I was going ballistic screaming like a little bitch and was probably being videoed and will soon be on as the over-energetic asshole dad who’s kid didn’t get picked last at dodgeball…..but I didn’t care. I ran up to him, with his sister dragging behind, and said – “You won man!!!”

And he said, “I did?”

“Ahh yeah…there was no one in front of you the whole race!!!”

He was sooo freakin’ happy and I thought my chest would explode.

(My little dude crossing the finish line)

That was an amazing experience. I knew he was a strong biker and focused on the event. But I have to say I had doubt. I thought those kids were going to make a meal out of him. On his own…he just went balls to the wall and won.

As a kid I played soccer and I remember getting screamed at many a car ride home by my father because I wasn’t giving it my all. Because I wasn’t paying attention constantly and trying to become a pro athlete at it. Eventually he’d say he wasn’t going to waste his time watching me if I wasn’t going to try…and he came to fewer games.

My little shit did me proud. I feel bad I doubted him, but I just didn’t want to be pushing him too hard. And I’m glad I didn’t because for him and me, it just made his win that much sweeter.



PrintView Printer Friendly Version

EmailEmail Article to Friend

Reader Comments (17)

Woo hoo Gooooo Grayson. We redheads rock. Kill 'em tiger

Oh yeah, and Daddy, shout louder next time okay. We couldn't hear ya this side of the pond ;)

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJabulani

This is GREAT!

I may or may not have teared up a little.

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJamie (gimmethejuice)

Oh J-Dog! I am so happy for little G. I am having a moment here! So proud for both of you!

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermyturtledove

You have the most awesom life, Justin. Remeber that - and Grayson, Macy and Kim are three reasons for that. Keep writing about it - I can't wait to see your first novel..........

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren Owen

Fuckin awesome dude. I like how he toasted those little brats.

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSteve B

Jabulani...I scream so loud it changes the Earth's orbit sister...

Oh Jamie..don't cry..I'm just a douchebag recounting his daily activities.... Thanks for reading!!

Karen - you're actually reading my nonsense!!! You're the best and I miss you! You're right..they're a great group of family people folks....hope you're doing well in your new life. can't wait to meet the hubby!

Stevieb - can't wait for you to get your ass up here and take a ride with us brother!!

September 28, 2009 | Registered CommenterSedg311

I think my eyes just got swollen from wanting to drop a few tears. What an awesome accomplishment! Go G-man!!!!!!!!!!!

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRestless Mama

That's awesome! Congrats to him!

And I loathe Wal-Mart, too. I stub it out as 'Hell' in my checkbook.

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTara

Congrats to your little guy!! Awesome bike too.

Sorry you had to go to Walmart. I too wish a very untimely death on Walmart. I'm all for the giraffe poop idea. Your son is totally going to save the world from Walmart and come up with that magical giraffe. He's clearly got super powers to kick ass in the race. Just wait.

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmyBloob

that made me all girly tearful - which is ok coz i am a girl... but it made me so proud of a boy i don't even know! i know the feeling when my daughter who can't run for anything made it all the way around her school cross country race without stopping - she was so bloody proud and i had to hide at the bottom of the course because i cried like a girl... which is ok coz i am a girl...

i think it is great that you didn't over inflate the race - you let him own all of that !

September 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjane

Restless Mama - I love that you called him G-Man...we occasionally drop that name on him, too. Thanks!!!

Love that idea Tara...can I steal it? No? Well I am anyway...I mean...if you say I can...

Amy - if my kid were the one to rid the world of Wal-Marts...I'd die the happiest man you've ever seen. His Wikipedia entry would be kick-ass.

That's awesome about your daughter Jane...I'd cry like a little girl too...which isn't cool cause I'm not a little girl, although I've been accused by many of acting like a little girl. Thanks for your comment!!!

September 29, 2009 | Registered CommenterSedg311

Congratulations to Grayson! Can't believe how big he has gotten,

September 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterIda Finifter

Another way cool post. You and son are lucky to have each other. Altho I sense the relationship with your dad was pretty sucky, there should be immense gratitude at the same time because THAT relationship has brought you to this THIS fabulous relationship with your own son. It's magnificent. Way to go little man!

And regarding the Walmart thing, I so get it. I hate it, but I keep going cuz it's easy on the pocketbook. I hate that I'm a walmart whore. :)

Keep writing brother. It's awesome.

September 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKim Jenkins

That is SO great! Congrats to him! I wish we had a bike race here... but guessing the training wheels would slow things up a bit.

September 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergooddog

Hey Ida!!! Yep - the little guy's not so little anymore. Good to see you here.

Kim...what can I say...that's the double-edged sword that is Wal-Mart. It's the quality of shopping thing for me - I can't fucking stand it so I stay away. If you have the patience to deal with it - it'll save money.

Gooddog - look for big wheel races...they had those and tricycle races. So much fun for the little ones...But - it's important you find one near or close-to a brewery...I'm just sayin'.

September 29, 2009 | Registered CommenterSedg311

What a wonderful accomplishment!!!!
Good for you....
As always, Love your posts...

I passed on an award for you on my blog...


September 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

Michele - thanks - that's so awesome!!! And congrats to you for your award! Thanks for reading!!!

September 30, 2009 | Registered CommenterSedg311

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>