So, there’s a ton of new parents out there in the world today trying to muddle their way through the management of their little ankle biters.
As the proud owner of a 6 and 8-year-old, I feel it’s my duty to impart upon them just a sample of the parenting acronyms they might encounter on playgrounds or during play-dates.
Much like government agencies, parenting is riddled with acronyms that at first seem to sound like simple words…but really mean something entirely different.
Come with me…let’s take a quick gander at just a handful…
DAMN
Diapers Are Most Negative!!
KIDS SUCK
Karate In Daughter’s Sunday School Usually Changes Karate
I FEEL LIKE MY WIFE WILL NEVER SLEEP WITH ME AGAIN
I Forget Every Evening Little Leopards Intuitively Kill Elephants Mostly Yearlings While I Feel Lonely Lethargic Nervous Even Vigorously Ravenous So Listen Equally Even People We Intelligent Thespians Have More Equal Agnostic Gains As Iguana Nightcrawlers.
I HATE PREGNANCY
I Have A Terrific Energetic Passion Regarding Early Gestational Notions Around Nurturing Child Yolks
YOUR KID SUCKS
Your Obnoxious Ridiculous Kid Is Doing Significant Sucky Uncouth Cock-o-mainy Krazy Shit
I LOVE YOU
I Love Only Vaginas Even Your Orange Undergarments
POOP
People Often Ooze Poo
Those are just a few of the many many parenting acronyms that exist. So, next time you hear me tell my wife “I LOVE YOU”….well, you’ll know what I’m really saying.
