It’s gotten to the point where I go to work and am all, “I know, but I called him two days ago-yuuah!!” in a really whiney voice.
That’s what our seven-year-old has done to not only me, but the wifey and daughter.
Take a walk back to non-kid days with me.
It’s Saturday in our 850-square-foot apartment we comfortable fit into. It’s 10:30 a.m. and the wife and I have woken at the same time. Tossing bad-breathe in the air like it’s Chernobyl on crack we laugh and remember back to when we were kids.
Wife: “You remember when you’d be all, ‘fiiiiiiinnnnneeeeyyuuuuahh!!’ at your mom?”
Me: “Are you kidding? I was the king at adding the ‘yuuah’ to the end of anything. Essentially it’s the closest a kid can get to ‘fuck you’ without getting jack-slapped into the next century.”
And so it became our “thing.”
Example Numero Uno:
Me: “So, you uhhh….you wanna fool around a little?”
Wife: “FIIINNNEEEEyuuah!!!”
Example Numero Dos:
Wife: “Honey, please take the garbage out before I cut you!”
Me: “FIINNNEEEEEyuuah!!!!”
I’d toss out example number three but Google’s being a bitch in telling me how to say “three” i.e. “tres” in Spanish.
Didn’t you hate when your professors used to say “i.e.” in college? I’d use it all the time with the wife and friends and I won’t lie, I almost got stabbed at a party one time using “i.e.” as part of my fighting vocabulary.
But I digress. And holy shit I’ve gotten off track.
The bottom line, all that “fiiiinnneeeyuuahh” stuff’s gotten us in to one hell of trouble. It’s the boy’s new favorite ending to every sentence.
Even so much so that our neighbor’s kick-ass kid who’s three calls my five year-old “Macy-yuuuuah.”
So, our family has embraced it. The other day we spent the day ending all our sentences with “yuuah.”
Daughter: “I gotta go boom boom daddyyuuaahh”
Me: “Hey look honey! If I see you naked, then jump up and down I can make three parts of my body clap at once-yuuuah”
Wife: “You scare me-yyuuuahhh”
Sure, we’re teaching out kids the improper use of language.
But in the end, it was so freakin’ awesome to see my son use his sense of humor to laugh at himself, which in turn will cause him to stop doing it.
At least that's what the book How To Parent Like A Champion said would happen.
